Hello, I'm seeking advice or thoughts from other members who have experience with these types of things. Let me explain.
A little about me.
I work in IT and make decent money however I'm an introvert. I met a girl online and we talked for a few weeks and finally met in person. Since then we've been dating for three months and for the most part the relationship goes smoothly. There are rough spots as in any relationships however we are both controlling and have been fighting for control the last week weeks. She has a child and we decided I wouldn't meet her until were sure things worked out. We both have the same mental disorders and such so we understand what each other goes through and when were having a hard time. Now for the problems.
I've cut ties with my ex's and don't speak with any of them. I find its sometimes best that way so they don't interfere in your future. She on the other hand speaks with three of them at least somewhat frequently. One of them doesn't respect boundaries and I'm not fond of him at all. She called him the other day to check up on him because they've been friends for years however I can tell he hasn't gotten over her. I don't trust him alone with her because he's very touchy and like I said doesn't respect boundaries and sleeps with married women all the time. (I know it goes two ways there).
If I speak with a female even if were just friends in a certain game she gets jealous and gets very nosy however I get nosy she gets defensive. We had a talk about this guy in particular and I asked that she not see him without me being around because I don't trust him. She said that was fine. Were talking about getting an apartment together and she told him (for some reason) and he made a comment that he would be our weekend guest. I of course said hell no and we got into it over it. I told her what I expect and what I will deal with and what I will not. I asked her how often she expects for him to be over and she wouldn't give me a straight answer. I said not every other weekend and she goes I don't know (she has her kid every other weekend). I told her since I'm paying the majority of the bills I don't want him over but once or so a month because of how he is and from what other friends of hers have told me about him.
She also chat's with another ex that shes somewhat friends with but he seems to respect the boundaries and not push however I'm still on the there ex's for a reason move on with your life.
I bought two rings for us as (relationship rings) that she had liked yet when I told her I ordered them she asked if they were engagement rings and went on about how she wanted to get married again and such. I've entertained the idea but only after we have ironed out everything in our relationship and are agreed upon the rules. She has been married twice and both marriages failed because of similar reasons of them cheating on her and such. I've never been married nor lived with anyone so I'm hesitant because I know exactly how I am. If I were to come home and find a male in my house alone with her (especially if it were an ex) I'd go off. I like for people to have permission before they come over to my house. I trust her but not them and they seem that they could be forceful. If we were to eventually get married I'm thinking a preen up is the best bet so that if she runs off she doesn't take half of what I have.
My gut tells me to run far away but my heart says another. To me 3 months isn't enough time to consider marriage but shes pushing for it. She wants to get married and move in together all at about the same time which I don't exactly agree with. How am I suppose to know that I can get along with you everyday unless I live with you first. I'm tripolar and living with me can be very difficult at times because I live with myself lol.
Please no immature comments or negativity. Just seeking advice from men who have some experience. I've had relationships before with one lasting 8 years however this relationship has gone further and more serious than any of them.
A little about me.
I work in IT and make decent money however I'm an introvert. I met a girl online and we talked for a few weeks and finally met in person. Since then we've been dating for three months and for the most part the relationship goes smoothly. There are rough spots as in any relationships however we are both controlling and have been fighting for control the last week weeks. She has a child and we decided I wouldn't meet her until were sure things worked out. We both have the same mental disorders and such so we understand what each other goes through and when were having a hard time. Now for the problems.
I've cut ties with my ex's and don't speak with any of them. I find its sometimes best that way so they don't interfere in your future. She on the other hand speaks with three of them at least somewhat frequently. One of them doesn't respect boundaries and I'm not fond of him at all. She called him the other day to check up on him because they've been friends for years however I can tell he hasn't gotten over her. I don't trust him alone with her because he's very touchy and like I said doesn't respect boundaries and sleeps with married women all the time. (I know it goes two ways there).
If I speak with a female even if were just friends in a certain game she gets jealous and gets very nosy however I get nosy she gets defensive. We had a talk about this guy in particular and I asked that she not see him without me being around because I don't trust him. She said that was fine. Were talking about getting an apartment together and she told him (for some reason) and he made a comment that he would be our weekend guest. I of course said hell no and we got into it over it. I told her what I expect and what I will deal with and what I will not. I asked her how often she expects for him to be over and she wouldn't give me a straight answer. I said not every other weekend and she goes I don't know (she has her kid every other weekend). I told her since I'm paying the majority of the bills I don't want him over but once or so a month because of how he is and from what other friends of hers have told me about him.
She also chat's with another ex that shes somewhat friends with but he seems to respect the boundaries and not push however I'm still on the there ex's for a reason move on with your life.
I bought two rings for us as (relationship rings) that she had liked yet when I told her I ordered them she asked if they were engagement rings and went on about how she wanted to get married again and such. I've entertained the idea but only after we have ironed out everything in our relationship and are agreed upon the rules. She has been married twice and both marriages failed because of similar reasons of them cheating on her and such. I've never been married nor lived with anyone so I'm hesitant because I know exactly how I am. If I were to come home and find a male in my house alone with her (especially if it were an ex) I'd go off. I like for people to have permission before they come over to my house. I trust her but not them and they seem that they could be forceful. If we were to eventually get married I'm thinking a preen up is the best bet so that if she runs off she doesn't take half of what I have.
My gut tells me to run far away but my heart says another. To me 3 months isn't enough time to consider marriage but shes pushing for it. She wants to get married and move in together all at about the same time which I don't exactly agree with. How am I suppose to know that I can get along with you everyday unless I live with you first. I'm tripolar and living with me can be very difficult at times because I live with myself lol.
Please no immature comments or negativity. Just seeking advice from men who have some experience. I've had relationships before with one lasting 8 years however this relationship has gone further and more serious than any of them.
Put the internet to work for you.
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