Married 17 years. One great kid. Typical ups and downs; mostly ups. The kind of relationship where there is a lot of affection; or, at least, a lot of expressed need for affection by both my wife and myself. I am a successful artist, love to talk. She is has always worked in the corporate world and, while more communicative over the last few years, not always so.
One of the recurring rubs in our relationship has always been that, over the years and with varying levels of success, I have often asked that she wear somewhat more sexy attire at home; perhaps a little makeup. She was fired from her job about a year ago. Overall, it was dealt with well emotionally. I enjoyed having her home more over the last few months as I am home most days. She started a new job a few days ago with (for the first time in many years) a male boss who she will work with on a one on one basis quite a bit. Here's my issue (and I am sure many of you can see it coming):
Suddenly, much more makeup in the morning, all new outfits, the perfect hair; overall a level of attention to her appearance beyond anything I have ever seen. My feelings:
Proud of her for getting new job and have told her so in many ways, but having trouble with the feeling of: "hey, why can't you do a little bit of that for ME when you are home?" There have been attempts at talking about this and what I honestly feel should be something that husband/wife should be able to discuss without fireworks has inevitably led to defensiveness and (most difficult to deal with and what throws up the red flags for me) complete denial that anything is different than it ever was before as far as how much attention she is devoting to her appearance.
Thoughts? Thanks.
One of the recurring rubs in our relationship has always been that, over the years and with varying levels of success, I have often asked that she wear somewhat more sexy attire at home; perhaps a little makeup. She was fired from her job about a year ago. Overall, it was dealt with well emotionally. I enjoyed having her home more over the last few months as I am home most days. She started a new job a few days ago with (for the first time in many years) a male boss who she will work with on a one on one basis quite a bit. Here's my issue (and I am sure many of you can see it coming):
Suddenly, much more makeup in the morning, all new outfits, the perfect hair; overall a level of attention to her appearance beyond anything I have ever seen. My feelings:
Proud of her for getting new job and have told her so in many ways, but having trouble with the feeling of: "hey, why can't you do a little bit of that for ME when you are home?" There have been attempts at talking about this and what I honestly feel should be something that husband/wife should be able to discuss without fireworks has inevitably led to defensiveness and (most difficult to deal with and what throws up the red flags for me) complete denial that anything is different than it ever was before as far as how much attention she is devoting to her appearance.
Thoughts? Thanks.
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