My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and it has been mostly happy but for the last year things have changed. We hardly ever do things together although we used to such as out for dinner, putt putt golf, etc. Now though it seems when he has a day or two off work all he wants to do is go hunting or fishing. I recently became a vegetarian so I don't go fishing anymore but I have told him that I still want to go with him, but he will not ask me to he goes with his cousin or by himself. Sex in our relationship is a rare thing since I have been going through menopause and thought that that was the reason why I don't have the desire like I used to. A few weeks ago I found out my husband ordered a porn movie and lied about it. To me watching porn is a form of cheating and my husband knows this. I was furious about this, not only about him watching it but then lying about it. neither of us have been very happy in the marriage and have become complacent with each other. after the porn thing I didn't even want to talk to him and decided we needed time apart so I packed up a few things, left my husband a note and went to a relatives a little over 1000 miles away. I texted my husband to explain a little more since my note was so vague. I was hoping he would say something like please come back but all he said was hope your not gone long. while I was away I was on my phone looking at facebook and went to his page as I sometimes do and there I see he has become friends with a female coworker. This person texts my husband often. so I text him and say that I see he is friends with her on facebook and isn't that kind of inappropriate. he just replied with we are just friends but then a couple hours later he unfriends me and keeps her as a friend. I tell him that this isn't right and he says that he doesn't like me spying on him on facebook. After lots of texts and call did manage to agree that we want to work on and save our marriag e so I came back home. We had a very honest talk about our marriage and how we can save it. one of them being spending more quality time together. and he agreed. a couple nights later I cooked a nice supper, got into some sexy clothes, lit some candles and put some music on. he said he liked all of this and we made love and I was hopefully things would be going in the right direction. but several days later he still hadn't unfriended the coworker and he knew how much it upset me that he had done this. when I was away I also found out he had been talking to his cousin about our marriage problems. I found this out because when I got back he got a call from him and didn't put it on speakerphone, which he always does, so I asked him why he didn't cause he always does and he said he had been talking to him about us and didn't want him to say anything to offend me, which lead me to ask what he had said to him to make him thing he would say something that would offend me. and he wo uldn't tell me what he said only that he didn't remember. Once again we got into argument about the coworker and facebook and he said he just hadn't got around to it. I then gave him a ultimatum that if he wants to save our marriage he needs to do it because it is very upsetting to me and I don't see how we can work on things with her as a divider. so he told me to delete his facebook page, and he said he told her why and not to text or call him anymore. But he still doesn't spend time with me other than watching tv. the other day he said he was going to check out a lake to go duck hunting on this winter and never even invited me to go with him, which really hurt my feelings. That same day as we were sitting around watching tv he made this comment " what a day, no one to do" this was a sexual comment. he isn't making any attempt to work on or save our marriage in my eyes he just goes on like same as usual. I don't know what to do here. If I tell him about how I feel about so mething or that something upsets me he things I'm blaming him or finding fault in him. we live paycheck to paycheck so marriage counseling is out od the question, can't afford it. Please someone give me some sound advice. I love my husband very much and want to save our marriage.
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