I have always loved animals. I grew up around them while my husband did not. When we got married, I got myself a kitten. He said I will never keep it in our house. A couple months later, my little cat moved into the house and my husband felt in love him. I always adored to see them sleep together and I was grateful that he let me to keep him in our house. About 3 months ago, a feral cat with 4 kittens started to live under our shed. He did not like it, but I told him that I can't just ignore that. I started to feed them because I worried about those little ones. I told my husband that I will rather spend less on me, but I will always find some money to get some food for them. Today, I asked my husband if he could help me to build them a winter shelter. He said no. I said don't do it for them, just for me. He did not like anything I said. He told me that healthy people don't do stuff like me. That my idea is crazy and called me selfish. I asked why. By car ing about animals? I just don't see how I can be selfish about that. I told him I don't want to spend too much, but I want to protect them from winter and bad weather. He was simply angry. This escalated into yesterdays issue when I asked to help me unload dishwasher. He did part of it,but never finished it. He watched tv this whole time while I was making a fundraiser cake for school. He always makes me feel as if I am asking too much of him. I told him about it today, that I feel he does not care about our marriage. He got louder and told me not to start with this subject. I asked why he thinks I am selfish. I got home and brought him supper while I could easily eat on my own without telling him. I bring him things even though he is able to get them on his own or make him his favorite supper when I am super busy by doing my assignments... His answer was "it was about time" - meaning- it is expected.
Another thing...we had this argument about water vs. electricity. When my husband washes his teeth, he always let water run-as fast as possible. I asked him to stop it when he does not need it. When he realized how this was getting me, he was doing it on purpose just to push my buttons. I told him I don't care if he showers longer if I know that water will end up on him, but to let water run with no purpose is very wasteful to me and asked him nicely to stop. On this, his argument was that my 3 lights in bathroom I have on cost more than his water. But to me there is a huge difference between water and electricity natural wise. So, after arguing ...I told him I won't use all lights light if this irritates him, and asked for stopping water in his case. Couple days later, I watched him to wash his teeth...nothing has changed. I turn off my lights, while he could not care less about water.
I just don't know what to do anymore. He wants to stay in this marriage but I feel more and more away from him. Am I selfish? Don't I see something?
To be honest, my counselor told me how different my husband and I are. I don't know how long I can think this will work. When we argued about that shelter, it just made cry how he thought I am selfish. Should I be embarrassed for caring about other creatures? This is who I am, I was always tenderhearted and always will be. I don't feel selfish. I feel so miserable with him sometimes. What to do?
Another thing...we had this argument about water vs. electricity. When my husband washes his teeth, he always let water run-as fast as possible. I asked him to stop it when he does not need it. When he realized how this was getting me, he was doing it on purpose just to push my buttons. I told him I don't care if he showers longer if I know that water will end up on him, but to let water run with no purpose is very wasteful to me and asked him nicely to stop. On this, his argument was that my 3 lights in bathroom I have on cost more than his water. But to me there is a huge difference between water and electricity natural wise. So, after arguing ...I told him I won't use all lights light if this irritates him, and asked for stopping water in his case. Couple days later, I watched him to wash his teeth...nothing has changed. I turn off my lights, while he could not care less about water.
I just don't know what to do anymore. He wants to stay in this marriage but I feel more and more away from him. Am I selfish? Don't I see something?
To be honest, my counselor told me how different my husband and I are. I don't know how long I can think this will work. When we argued about that shelter, it just made cry how he thought I am selfish. Should I be embarrassed for caring about other creatures? This is who I am, I was always tenderhearted and always will be. I don't feel selfish. I feel so miserable with him sometimes. What to do?
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