I have been married for only 1 year. We have been together for 2years & friends for over 6 before our relationship started.
We have lived in fast forward since the day we began together. I love my life, I love my children & yes I very much love my stunningly beautiful wife.
Now, here we begin. Our children are 2, 1 & #3 is due Oct/14. I believe she is suffering from major hormonal shifts and have tried my hardest to stay as patient as I can possibly be. I do my very best off of one income to give her anything and everything I can to allow her to stay home with the family I've made. I got us a 5 bedroom 3 bath house, just bought 2 new cars to fit the kids, I take care of 100% of all bills and spending, fully furnished, decorated just as we want it.....you name it, I am working my ass off to be a good man and provide it.
Something shifted, major anger and resentment about my work schedule, amount of time I spend at home, extreme arguments about time spent alone and together, and a sudden desperate need for her to start school/work etc and the conversations never end. I try to explain that I cannot afford daycare for 3 infants and that's why we decided the course we are on.....but she changed the game, she wants out of the house soon after baby #3 and I guess I better find the money. The condition of cleanliness in the vehicles, and our new home are deteriorating (which I view as a respect issue because I work so hard to provide these things). She also started using guilt about the amount I see my kids due to work, and that we aren't spending any time together.
Then (I feel) she went looking for trouble, and invited [I]everyone in. Each and every one of our friends & family members know this is going on, one by one, emails, txts, coffees...she has taken her story of our marriage and offered it to all mutual friends and family. In turn, I am now responsible to answer questions I don't have an answer to......Its frustrating.
There is now, as a result of my vilification, a picture being painted that I don't like, and it has taken our marriage from a place that seemed manageable to now, I feel we may need to separate in house or out to stay good parents to these beautiful little people we created, because they don't deserve a mom and dad who fight, or in my case a dad who retreats, avoids, and agrees so there isn't a fight (when I do engage, I give it right back)
I just don't know how we went from where we started, to a place where more means more, alone time means war, dividing families, affair accusations, calling very old friends w****s on fb, screaming matches, leaving the house, and having everyone involved in this mess. I have given up almost all of my extra curriculars, I go to work, and I come home.
I went out on the weekend with all of my employees (who she has also talked to, so they are all aware) just to have some fun and reconnect with them. We all overindulged, so after dinner I called her and put the ball in her court (do I stay in town/sober up and drive) She went bezerk, told me I wasn't allowed home for the weekend. So I went bezerk in return and hit every bar in town with my 2 oldest friends (both female) and had an awesome night knowing either way I was in deep s***. It was a no-win situation. She's now publicly attacked our dearest friend and called her a "w***e" publicly via social media, and made a demand that she never speaks to me again.....nothing happened, I mean nothing. I don't know why her insecurity had to be directed at someone so close to all of us.
My gut is telling me, as much as she loves me, loves our kids, loves being a mom....I don't think she realized what she signed up for, and is trying to claw her way back to where she was before kids without really realizing the damage being done. In turn, I'm just the man who trapped her here.
There are a lot of hurt feelings across the board, both my wife and I, most of our friends, and our families. I feel (know) everyone is watching and waiting to see what happens here. I am terrified of losing my kids, I can't not live with them & see their little faces every day, even if it is just for breakfast time snuggles before I go to work (for them)
We have lived in fast forward since the day we began together. I love my life, I love my children & yes I very much love my stunningly beautiful wife.
Now, here we begin. Our children are 2, 1 & #3 is due Oct/14. I believe she is suffering from major hormonal shifts and have tried my hardest to stay as patient as I can possibly be. I do my very best off of one income to give her anything and everything I can to allow her to stay home with the family I've made. I got us a 5 bedroom 3 bath house, just bought 2 new cars to fit the kids, I take care of 100% of all bills and spending, fully furnished, decorated just as we want it.....you name it, I am working my ass off to be a good man and provide it.
Something shifted, major anger and resentment about my work schedule, amount of time I spend at home, extreme arguments about time spent alone and together, and a sudden desperate need for her to start school/work etc and the conversations never end. I try to explain that I cannot afford daycare for 3 infants and that's why we decided the course we are on.....but she changed the game, she wants out of the house soon after baby #3 and I guess I better find the money. The condition of cleanliness in the vehicles, and our new home are deteriorating (which I view as a respect issue because I work so hard to provide these things). She also started using guilt about the amount I see my kids due to work, and that we aren't spending any time together.
Then (I feel) she went looking for trouble, and invited [I]everyone in. Each and every one of our friends & family members know this is going on, one by one, emails, txts, coffees...she has taken her story of our marriage and offered it to all mutual friends and family. In turn, I am now responsible to answer questions I don't have an answer to......Its frustrating.
There is now, as a result of my vilification, a picture being painted that I don't like, and it has taken our marriage from a place that seemed manageable to now, I feel we may need to separate in house or out to stay good parents to these beautiful little people we created, because they don't deserve a mom and dad who fight, or in my case a dad who retreats, avoids, and agrees so there isn't a fight (when I do engage, I give it right back)
I just don't know how we went from where we started, to a place where more means more, alone time means war, dividing families, affair accusations, calling very old friends w****s on fb, screaming matches, leaving the house, and having everyone involved in this mess. I have given up almost all of my extra curriculars, I go to work, and I come home.
I went out on the weekend with all of my employees (who she has also talked to, so they are all aware) just to have some fun and reconnect with them. We all overindulged, so after dinner I called her and put the ball in her court (do I stay in town/sober up and drive) She went bezerk, told me I wasn't allowed home for the weekend. So I went bezerk in return and hit every bar in town with my 2 oldest friends (both female) and had an awesome night knowing either way I was in deep s***. It was a no-win situation. She's now publicly attacked our dearest friend and called her a "w***e" publicly via social media, and made a demand that she never speaks to me again.....nothing happened, I mean nothing. I don't know why her insecurity had to be directed at someone so close to all of us.
My gut is telling me, as much as she loves me, loves our kids, loves being a mom....I don't think she realized what she signed up for, and is trying to claw her way back to where she was before kids without really realizing the damage being done. In turn, I'm just the man who trapped her here.
There are a lot of hurt feelings across the board, both my wife and I, most of our friends, and our families. I feel (know) everyone is watching and waiting to see what happens here. I am terrified of losing my kids, I can't not live with them & see their little faces every day, even if it is just for breakfast time snuggles before I go to work (for them)
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