| So, this is a long story but I am going to try and make it as concise as possible without leaving out any important details: My boyfriend (well, ex boyfriend now, even though I hate to say that) and I have been dating since January. Officially dating since May, but before that we were pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend in all but the name. He was hesitant to ask me out because I was going away to grad school in the Fall over 4,000 miles away (which is where I am now), but we grew super close and he ended up asking me out in May anyway (I was so excited!) When I was home we spent so much time together and enjoyed every minute of it. We never got into any major fights (just about dumb things, but we made up and were happy again within like 10 minutes. The "fights" never lasted for long)..I grew to like him more and more each day and we were so happy together. When the day came for me to leave for grad school, we were both devastated. We BOTH cried (I had never seen him cry before) and hugged for as long as we could before I had to leave so I could make it to my flight on time. We had talked prior to my leaving about what would happen with us when I left, and we both decided that we should essentially break it off once I left for grad school. We would still talk and be friends, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. We thought that trying to stay together would make us both depressed because we would miss each other all the time, and we didn't want the relationship to go sour and then never be able to talk to each other again. He also wanted me to fully enjoy my time while I was away and not be sad missing him while I was gone. He said I was the coolest and smartest girlfriend he'd ever had and he didn't want to lose me. We also said that after grad school if our lives brought us back together again, that of course there was potential for us getting back together down the line. The first week that I was here, I was a mess. I missed him so badly and I missed home so badly that I felt sick to my stomach being away (I had never been away from home before grad school..my undergrad was a commuter school that I stayed at home for). We still talked but I could already sense him trying to distance himself (for both of our goods) and that made me feel worse. He said he wanted to be there for me, but didn't want me to rely on him while I was away. He would still skype with me every night but I spent most of it crying about how I wanted to come home. I then realized that I thought splitting up was a big mistake. I spent a lot of time trying to convince him to change his mind and give us a shot. I understand now why being apart is a better choice for us, but at the time I wanted to try the long-distance relationship. I would still even try now if he were to tell me he'd give it a shot, but I'm more understanding now of his decision to stand firm on what we initially decided before I left. He even told me he was starting to lose some feelings for me less than a week after we BOTH cried in the car saying our goodbyes. He said he truly did miss me, but that he was trying to move on. I don't see how you could lose feelings for someone you cared (and still care) so much for in less than a week. I honestly feel like he still does have the same feelings for me, but he's telling himself that he doesn't because he's trying to move on and he's doing what he thinks is best for both of our sakes. You know how boys are with their feelings sometimes. But anyway, this communication with on and off me crying to him about how I miss him and I miss home went on for about 3 weeks. The last time we did this was over a week ago, and he said he'd talk to me later. I asked when and he said he wasn't sure. I said okay..bye. I then waited a week before I contacted him again. I thought it'd be a good idea to back off a bit and I didn't want to annoy him. After the week was up, I texted him something not serious or about our relationship at all and no response. I waited until the next morning..still nothing. Sent him a msg on fb and no response. I know he's ignoring me now and it really hurts. This is so unlike him. I feel like he is doing this for both of our sakes again..he had mentioned earlier "what if we tried not talking for like a month and then talked again as friends afterwards after we had cooled off?" I think this is what he's doing now, but it still hurts. What do you guys think? About his current feelings for me and why he's suddenly silent. I find it's all I can think about and although I haven't tried contacting him since, it still hurts and I'm tempted to even call him again. I at least think I deserve an explanation for his actions. Anyway, I know this is super long, but..any thoughts? Thanks! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment