I should add some kind of disclaimer or background to the top of every post. Some of you will know me from previous posts. Perhaps I work on a standard summary for those who don't know me. Actually... I'll do that and add a background section for my posts from now on. Then I post about the latest 'incident'.
I'm here looking for answers as I'm in a relationship that I have identified as unhealthy and though I know I should probably leave it, I'm hanging on. Maybe because I'm emotionally tired, maybe because I'm scared, maybe because I'm weak. I'm still going through a stage of thinking that things are my fault. Hence, why I ask here.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for around 6 years, we are both in our late 30s, and have lived in an apartment together for about 4 years. Her 14 year old son also lives in the apartment. The son and I are close (he calls me his second dad) and his father is an active part of his life, taking him for the ocassional night/weekend. His father seems like a really decent guy.
We have problems (I think she is jealous, controlling, and quite often angry; I'm dependent, a door mat, and an approval seeker, and reading "no more mr nice guy" for the second time, and looking into getting some therapy to help me make the right decisions).
While we were on holiday recently her son got burned by boiling hot water as he helped his mum in the kitchen. I was outside working on the barbeque. This resulted in a few hospital visits and leaving the holiday earlier than planned so we could go home to get better treatment (we were in a remote area, didn't speak the language, and were concerned about the treatment). Cutting a long story short, when we got back to our house, my girlfriend went into detail with her parents about what happened. Yet... she told me not to go into detail with my parents. Bearing in mind that my parents are not her sons grandparents, and my parents live in another country, and her relationship with them is okay, I was surprised by this. I asked her what kind of detail she meant--and why--but I didn't really get a concrete sensible answer. She got angry when I said that I didn't really agree with limiting information and thought it was perfectly normal to say what happened, how, etc to my parents . I've always been close to them. Why should I suddenly not tell them how her son got burned?! or that we ended up in hospital and what happened?! It doesn't make sense.
I've already concluded she is isolating me from my parents (whether intentional/unintentionally I do not know). However... because I know I'm weak and have somehow lost the ability to stand-up for my beliefs, I want to ask here. Do you think it is right that I should limit information to my parents? Or do you think her request is odd?
I'm here looking for answers as I'm in a relationship that I have identified as unhealthy and though I know I should probably leave it, I'm hanging on. Maybe because I'm emotionally tired, maybe because I'm scared, maybe because I'm weak. I'm still going through a stage of thinking that things are my fault. Hence, why I ask here.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for around 6 years, we are both in our late 30s, and have lived in an apartment together for about 4 years. Her 14 year old son also lives in the apartment. The son and I are close (he calls me his second dad) and his father is an active part of his life, taking him for the ocassional night/weekend. His father seems like a really decent guy.
We have problems (I think she is jealous, controlling, and quite often angry; I'm dependent, a door mat, and an approval seeker, and reading "no more mr nice guy" for the second time, and looking into getting some therapy to help me make the right decisions).
While we were on holiday recently her son got burned by boiling hot water as he helped his mum in the kitchen. I was outside working on the barbeque. This resulted in a few hospital visits and leaving the holiday earlier than planned so we could go home to get better treatment (we were in a remote area, didn't speak the language, and were concerned about the treatment). Cutting a long story short, when we got back to our house, my girlfriend went into detail with her parents about what happened. Yet... she told me not to go into detail with my parents. Bearing in mind that my parents are not her sons grandparents, and my parents live in another country, and her relationship with them is okay, I was surprised by this. I asked her what kind of detail she meant--and why--but I didn't really get a concrete sensible answer. She got angry when I said that I didn't really agree with limiting information and thought it was perfectly normal to say what happened, how, etc to my parents . I've always been close to them. Why should I suddenly not tell them how her son got burned?! or that we ended up in hospital and what happened?! It doesn't make sense.
I've already concluded she is isolating me from my parents (whether intentional/unintentionally I do not know). However... because I know I'm weak and have somehow lost the ability to stand-up for my beliefs, I want to ask here. Do you think it is right that I should limit information to my parents? Or do you think her request is odd?
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