The affair has ended and hubby once again looks at me with adoring eyes, but it is hard for me to get past that his relationship with another woman was closer than his relationship with me. Hubby thinks he did nothing wrong since there was no sex involved and I don't think he ever talked to this woman romantically as he claims they were "just friends". It just was too deep emotionally. My therapist says when a man leans on another woman outside of marriage for emotional support it is a betrayal.
I knew he was attracted to her and had a crush on her. He started going out with this friend who was a coworker for breakfast after his graveyard shift. These breakfasts lasted four freakin' hours. As soon as this started he started working out 2-3 hours at the gym. I knew his sudden interest was to impress her. Before he started hanging out with this coworker he described himself as very happy in our marriage. He starts seeing her then he starts comparing me to her saying I don't talk enough and we don't have communication in our marriage. He tells me he has better communication with her than with me. When i asked to meet this woman and go along to one of these breakfasts he said "no way." He for the first time became critical of me.
The woman started avoiding my husband and they quit seeing eachother. He quit complaining about how quiet I am and said the communication is now better. I haven't changed one bit. My personality is the same. The only thing that changes is his perception when he compares me to other women. He never hid the relationship, but the amount of time he spent with her was totally inappropriate. Sometimes he would be 7 hours late home from work. Stating that he spent four hours with her and three hours at the gym. Lunch or breakfast in my opinion with a coworker is 1-1-1/2 hours tops. It has been a few months since this ended, but I am still not over the betrayal. I am afraid it will happen again. I do not know how to talk for four hours. Everyday I express love, tell my hubby I am proud of him, compliment him, ask him about his day, etc., but that all takes about 5-10 minutes of talking. He says I am the quiestest woman he ever met. I cannot change my personality for him . He used to tell me I was perfect. I am so jealous that he used to spend four hours talking to another woman. I can sum just about anything up in five minutes. I don't know how to talk for hours on end. Now I feel inadequate as I am, but I cannot change my personality.
I knew he was attracted to her and had a crush on her. He started going out with this friend who was a coworker for breakfast after his graveyard shift. These breakfasts lasted four freakin' hours. As soon as this started he started working out 2-3 hours at the gym. I knew his sudden interest was to impress her. Before he started hanging out with this coworker he described himself as very happy in our marriage. He starts seeing her then he starts comparing me to her saying I don't talk enough and we don't have communication in our marriage. He tells me he has better communication with her than with me. When i asked to meet this woman and go along to one of these breakfasts he said "no way." He for the first time became critical of me.
The woman started avoiding my husband and they quit seeing eachother. He quit complaining about how quiet I am and said the communication is now better. I haven't changed one bit. My personality is the same. The only thing that changes is his perception when he compares me to other women. He never hid the relationship, but the amount of time he spent with her was totally inappropriate. Sometimes he would be 7 hours late home from work. Stating that he spent four hours with her and three hours at the gym. Lunch or breakfast in my opinion with a coworker is 1-1-1/2 hours tops. It has been a few months since this ended, but I am still not over the betrayal. I am afraid it will happen again. I do not know how to talk for four hours. Everyday I express love, tell my hubby I am proud of him, compliment him, ask him about his day, etc., but that all takes about 5-10 minutes of talking. He says I am the quiestest woman he ever met. I cannot change my personality for him . He used to tell me I was perfect. I am so jealous that he used to spend four hours talking to another woman. I can sum just about anything up in five minutes. I don't know how to talk for hours on end. Now I feel inadequate as I am, but I cannot change my personality.
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