Not talking about the actual physical act, I'm fair to middling there. I mean I don't know what to do to get someone interested in having sex with me. Speaking of my wife in this case, but looking back I can see that it's been an issue in many past relationships.
I don't know how to go from "sitting on the sofa watching tv" to "let's have sex". I pretty much go from 0 to sex in 2.3 seconds. I go from nothing to kissing and trying to make out. It doesn't usually have the desired effect, which results in me feeling rejected, which makes me even more hesitant and self-conscious about trying in the future when I do, so that when I finally work up the nerve to try again it is usually just as awkward if not more so and results in more rejection.
I don't know how to work up to it. I feel like I don't have a chance to gradually escalate the level of touching and affection because we spend most of our evenings sitting on the sofa on opposite sides, with her leaning against the far sofa arm with her feet and legs between us ("because it's comfortable" she says). Sometimes I catch her in passing and I'll try and be affectionate, hug her kiss her, but I always get the feeling like she's not interested at that time. This also makes me not want to even try in the first place.
I don't do dirty or seductive talk, don't know how to do it and feel completely ridiculous when I try (and it shows). Other than coming out and saying "hey, can we have sex", which makes me feel pathetic, like I'm begging, what else can I do?
Or am I overlooking or ignoring signs that she just isn't interested in me in that way?
(For the record, I usually manage to take a shot at the right time about once every month or two; that's our sexual frequency)
I don't know how to go from "sitting on the sofa watching tv" to "let's have sex". I pretty much go from 0 to sex in 2.3 seconds. I go from nothing to kissing and trying to make out. It doesn't usually have the desired effect, which results in me feeling rejected, which makes me even more hesitant and self-conscious about trying in the future when I do, so that when I finally work up the nerve to try again it is usually just as awkward if not more so and results in more rejection.
I don't know how to work up to it. I feel like I don't have a chance to gradually escalate the level of touching and affection because we spend most of our evenings sitting on the sofa on opposite sides, with her leaning against the far sofa arm with her feet and legs between us ("because it's comfortable" she says). Sometimes I catch her in passing and I'll try and be affectionate, hug her kiss her, but I always get the feeling like she's not interested at that time. This also makes me not want to even try in the first place.
I don't do dirty or seductive talk, don't know how to do it and feel completely ridiculous when I try (and it shows). Other than coming out and saying "hey, can we have sex", which makes me feel pathetic, like I'm begging, what else can I do?
Or am I overlooking or ignoring signs that she just isn't interested in me in that way?
(For the record, I usually manage to take a shot at the right time about once every month or two; that's our sexual frequency)
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