I'm going to try and be short and to the point...
I've been married 10 years. When we married, we both career professionals. However, his profession would require relocation(s). The first few moves were ok...he was climbing a ladder. However, it got to the point that he was always complaining about how much money his co-workers made even with less experience. I told him that they had kept still and waited for change, something his impatient *** can not seem to do.
Last year, he got himself in some EXTREMELY HOT water and decided to walk away from a very lucrative career...he really had no choice. There was no violation of company policy per se, nothing illegal, but it was better to walk away.
Thinking fast as he always does, we "discussed" what we should do. He didn't want to stay where we were out of embarrassment as far as I was concerned. So we "agreed" to head south. Discussions are really more of him trying to convince you he's right and the "agreement" is simply to keep the peace, so-to-speak.
We've been here over a year now and I am beyond miserable! Moving here and just struggling to survive, we have exhausted ALL, EVERY SINGLE DIME of any savings we had. There is literally NOTHING left.
He finally found a job last July. New career field but salary comparable to his previous field. That job was a done deal in less than 2 months! He then job hopped from one hard labor position to another. I found work in my field but the pay is far less than what I could earn up north.
We have moved 4 times since we arrived in this state. Initially staying with his friends, then moving 3 hours further south once he took the job in July...into an Extended Stay hotel. We founds a house but once he lost that job we couldn't afford to stay and my salary can't pay our bills so we had to move, again. We moved into an apartment and have been there almost 6 months. Well with him switching jobs again, the pay dates fall to where our rent is always late which means spending money you didn't really have, to now cover late fees. We voluntarily gave up a vehicle yesterday as well. As of today are looking to have to move back into a hotel...MOVE #5, in less than 2 years!!!!:mad::mad::mad:
This is how one dumb decision can send your life on a wild goose chase back to the stability you once knew. A We have an 8 year old son and this is NOT the life I want for him.
My husband believes things will get better and doesn't want to leave this state. He's fine with his job and is hopeful. It's been a year and a half and opportunities for me are slim and the pay is even worse. I just see a downward spiral to nothing. I am unhappy....I was probably somewhat unhappy prior to all of this--which is just icing on a half-baked cake. He thinks I should suck it up and make it work for our family because that's what he's doing.
I told him, my goal is to be out of this state in a year, with or without him. I love him, but I have got to take care of me so that I can take care of our son. I was hoping we could make this apartment work because I don't want an eviction on my report! How in the heck do you wait until your mid 40's and get evicted?! I told him that doesn't go away and makes it nearly impossible to rent anything outside of some roach infested, crime-ridden neighborhood! (FYI--I did NOT grow up privileged by any means. I had a 2 parent family, the grace of the Almighty and motivation and hard work).
He says "I don't want to go a day without seeing my wife or my son!" Yes, I guess so, lol. After a career that kept you on the move, numerous affairs, and now the reality that I really could just walk away from him, I guess so! Honestly, it's because he has no one else and no where to go.
He just doesn't get it. He has sucked the life out of me! I go to work, and walk in the door and start cooking and cleaning. I go to bed purposely after they are asleep because I need to just clear my own head. The next morning he's up whining about something else! I feel like my brain will explode!
I believe in the Almighty, the sanctity of marriage and commitment. However, I do NOT believe this is what he wants for my life. If we end up in this hotel until next June when school is out, I told him, I will take our son and leave. I want stability for him, not some transient life because his daddy is indecisive and his mother has tried to support his lack thereof.
Hopefully I can get thru this...otherwise he will wake up and we'll be GONE!:crying:
I've been married 10 years. When we married, we both career professionals. However, his profession would require relocation(s). The first few moves were ok...he was climbing a ladder. However, it got to the point that he was always complaining about how much money his co-workers made even with less experience. I told him that they had kept still and waited for change, something his impatient *** can not seem to do.
Last year, he got himself in some EXTREMELY HOT water and decided to walk away from a very lucrative career...he really had no choice. There was no violation of company policy per se, nothing illegal, but it was better to walk away.
Thinking fast as he always does, we "discussed" what we should do. He didn't want to stay where we were out of embarrassment as far as I was concerned. So we "agreed" to head south. Discussions are really more of him trying to convince you he's right and the "agreement" is simply to keep the peace, so-to-speak.
We've been here over a year now and I am beyond miserable! Moving here and just struggling to survive, we have exhausted ALL, EVERY SINGLE DIME of any savings we had. There is literally NOTHING left.
He finally found a job last July. New career field but salary comparable to his previous field. That job was a done deal in less than 2 months! He then job hopped from one hard labor position to another. I found work in my field but the pay is far less than what I could earn up north.
We have moved 4 times since we arrived in this state. Initially staying with his friends, then moving 3 hours further south once he took the job in July...into an Extended Stay hotel. We founds a house but once he lost that job we couldn't afford to stay and my salary can't pay our bills so we had to move, again. We moved into an apartment and have been there almost 6 months. Well with him switching jobs again, the pay dates fall to where our rent is always late which means spending money you didn't really have, to now cover late fees. We voluntarily gave up a vehicle yesterday as well. As of today are looking to have to move back into a hotel...MOVE #5, in less than 2 years!!!!:mad::mad::mad:
This is how one dumb decision can send your life on a wild goose chase back to the stability you once knew. A We have an 8 year old son and this is NOT the life I want for him.
My husband believes things will get better and doesn't want to leave this state. He's fine with his job and is hopeful. It's been a year and a half and opportunities for me are slim and the pay is even worse. I just see a downward spiral to nothing. I am unhappy....I was probably somewhat unhappy prior to all of this--which is just icing on a half-baked cake. He thinks I should suck it up and make it work for our family because that's what he's doing.
I told him, my goal is to be out of this state in a year, with or without him. I love him, but I have got to take care of me so that I can take care of our son. I was hoping we could make this apartment work because I don't want an eviction on my report! How in the heck do you wait until your mid 40's and get evicted?! I told him that doesn't go away and makes it nearly impossible to rent anything outside of some roach infested, crime-ridden neighborhood! (FYI--I did NOT grow up privileged by any means. I had a 2 parent family, the grace of the Almighty and motivation and hard work).
He says "I don't want to go a day without seeing my wife or my son!" Yes, I guess so, lol. After a career that kept you on the move, numerous affairs, and now the reality that I really could just walk away from him, I guess so! Honestly, it's because he has no one else and no where to go.
He just doesn't get it. He has sucked the life out of me! I go to work, and walk in the door and start cooking and cleaning. I go to bed purposely after they are asleep because I need to just clear my own head. The next morning he's up whining about something else! I feel like my brain will explode!
I believe in the Almighty, the sanctity of marriage and commitment. However, I do NOT believe this is what he wants for my life. If we end up in this hotel until next June when school is out, I told him, I will take our son and leave. I want stability for him, not some transient life because his daddy is indecisive and his mother has tried to support his lack thereof.
Hopefully I can get thru this...otherwise he will wake up and we'll be GONE!:crying:
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