Hi everyone, lurker here. Thought now was a good time to finally start being an active member & seek some advice.
Background: 33yr old W here. H is 35. Been married 8 years, together 17 yrs. Overall I'm fairly happy but continue to find myself unsatisfied/frustrated with our sex life. My H is not LD but I would call him lazy & also submissive. (Not in a bdsm usage or effeminate). He just takes a backseat approach to sex, likes when I'm in charge & when I initiate. We usually have sex 3-4 times a week, w/ additional BJs for him. There are several issues I would like to address but I think I will start with what occurred today.
This past week we had zero sex. My H had a hectic work week with long hours, I could tell he was spent & during that he aggravated his back causing him to be in some pain. I didn't push sex I knew he was exhausted, he was passing out on the couch when he would get home. He had Sat. & Sun. off. We spent the weekend together, Sunday being a lazy day at home. Again no sex, which was ok, was letting him recoup. This morning I work up earlier than him, he would be getting soon to leave to work also. As he laid in bed, I kissed him Goodbye & whispered in his ear "save your **** for me, I want it tonight" He made a happy moan. I left to run an errand. While doing so I sent him a sexy text, pretty much reiterated what I said. I didn't want him to mastubate because I was looking forward to tonight.
Later on, when I knew he was on his way to work I checked my open dns that shows our wifi usage, sure enough he visited a porn site & watched 2 videos. I know what that means. I was pissed, but still calmly gave him a call, he went around the subject & played dumb. Then later he sent me a text saying he loved me. I sent him a text explaining that I had been waiting all week to be with him & how i told him to wait for tonight because I was planning something special (I was) but how I guess I'm not anything to look forward to. His response: "my name" you're going to get it bad.." I ignored it.
I guess right now, my spirit is just dampened, my ego is bruised & the mood is gone. So any advice for me for when he comes home, should I still have sex like I was planning even if I'm not into it anymore? Should I just say sorry I took care of myself already? A taste of his own medicine. How would you handle this?
Background: 33yr old W here. H is 35. Been married 8 years, together 17 yrs. Overall I'm fairly happy but continue to find myself unsatisfied/frustrated with our sex life. My H is not LD but I would call him lazy & also submissive. (Not in a bdsm usage or effeminate). He just takes a backseat approach to sex, likes when I'm in charge & when I initiate. We usually have sex 3-4 times a week, w/ additional BJs for him. There are several issues I would like to address but I think I will start with what occurred today.
This past week we had zero sex. My H had a hectic work week with long hours, I could tell he was spent & during that he aggravated his back causing him to be in some pain. I didn't push sex I knew he was exhausted, he was passing out on the couch when he would get home. He had Sat. & Sun. off. We spent the weekend together, Sunday being a lazy day at home. Again no sex, which was ok, was letting him recoup. This morning I work up earlier than him, he would be getting soon to leave to work also. As he laid in bed, I kissed him Goodbye & whispered in his ear "save your **** for me, I want it tonight" He made a happy moan. I left to run an errand. While doing so I sent him a sexy text, pretty much reiterated what I said. I didn't want him to mastubate because I was looking forward to tonight.
Later on, when I knew he was on his way to work I checked my open dns that shows our wifi usage, sure enough he visited a porn site & watched 2 videos. I know what that means. I was pissed, but still calmly gave him a call, he went around the subject & played dumb. Then later he sent me a text saying he loved me. I sent him a text explaining that I had been waiting all week to be with him & how i told him to wait for tonight because I was planning something special (I was) but how I guess I'm not anything to look forward to. His response: "my name" you're going to get it bad.." I ignored it.
I guess right now, my spirit is just dampened, my ego is bruised & the mood is gone. So any advice for me for when he comes home, should I still have sex like I was planning even if I'm not into it anymore? Should I just say sorry I took care of myself already? A taste of his own medicine. How would you handle this?
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