In the spirit of "the unexamined life is not worth living" (Socrates)...
I don't understand my own motive to be married. I have never examined it thoroughly.
I was certain I would never marry until I met my wife 17 years ago at the age of 31. She was 28.
Despite several nice long and shorter term rather satisfying relationships of 6 months to 5 years duration with quality women, I had not met the one and could not imagine a life long commitment with any of my prior relationships.
My love at first sight thing with my wife was overwhelming with the desire to marry nearly instant.
That surprising new desire to be married was ridiculously powerful and unquestioned.
17 years later, after many ups and downs we are in a good but not great place.
After reading many posts on TAM about the horrifying situations marriages can get you into, it makes you wonder why word doesn't get out how awful marriage can be and why it doesn't stop EVERYONE in their tracks from following through.
Do we all believe these horrifying things wont happen to us?
Are the reasons a person wants to be married different for men and women or everyone?
I sit here asking myself why I want to be married to my wife. I know I definitely do but I am not sure why.
I am also not sure why it feels good to be married as compared to simply living together and building a life.
What is the missing ingredient that marriage provides to those that want it and enjoy it?
Why am I still proud to introduce my wife to others? It seems most that I introduce my wife to and those that witness our interaction are impressed by the quality of our life together and the mutual respect we have for each other in an inspirational way. It seems others envy the type of interaction they witness between us. I enjoy the respect filled vibe we receive from others witnessing the mutual respect and harmony we have for each other so I suspect there is an ego component at play within my motivation but there is more there that seems romantic in some way but I cant put my finger on it.
Have I simply gone along with the cultural popularity of marriage and grasped on to the cultural beliefs taught to me by society?
Please help me understand why the he11 I or anyone else enjoys marriage more than simply building a life together unamarried.
I dont get it
What is your list of good reasons and bad reasons to get married.
I love my wife. I want to be married to her. Why? What difference does it make to be married or not if we are together?
I do not attend church so the influence is extremely minimal and in passing if at all but I do have strong values including loyalty, kindness and generosity. I did not get married exclusively for my wife. I strongly feel the desire to be married. I just don't understand why or where t comes from.
It seems there is some of my ego involved in the joy my marriage provides which I am embarrassed about but there is another powerful component that I can not put my finger on that almost seems like being part of a strong loving committed team of two. It seems like a very romantic component.
Any ideas where the joy, satisfaction and desire to be married comes from?
I don't understand my own motive to be married. I have never examined it thoroughly.
I was certain I would never marry until I met my wife 17 years ago at the age of 31. She was 28.
Despite several nice long and shorter term rather satisfying relationships of 6 months to 5 years duration with quality women, I had not met the one and could not imagine a life long commitment with any of my prior relationships.
My love at first sight thing with my wife was overwhelming with the desire to marry nearly instant.
That surprising new desire to be married was ridiculously powerful and unquestioned.
17 years later, after many ups and downs we are in a good but not great place.
After reading many posts on TAM about the horrifying situations marriages can get you into, it makes you wonder why word doesn't get out how awful marriage can be and why it doesn't stop EVERYONE in their tracks from following through.
Do we all believe these horrifying things wont happen to us?
Are the reasons a person wants to be married different for men and women or everyone?
I sit here asking myself why I want to be married to my wife. I know I definitely do but I am not sure why.
I am also not sure why it feels good to be married as compared to simply living together and building a life.
What is the missing ingredient that marriage provides to those that want it and enjoy it?
Why am I still proud to introduce my wife to others? It seems most that I introduce my wife to and those that witness our interaction are impressed by the quality of our life together and the mutual respect we have for each other in an inspirational way. It seems others envy the type of interaction they witness between us. I enjoy the respect filled vibe we receive from others witnessing the mutual respect and harmony we have for each other so I suspect there is an ego component at play within my motivation but there is more there that seems romantic in some way but I cant put my finger on it.
Have I simply gone along with the cultural popularity of marriage and grasped on to the cultural beliefs taught to me by society?
Please help me understand why the he11 I or anyone else enjoys marriage more than simply building a life together unamarried.
I dont get it
What is your list of good reasons and bad reasons to get married.
I love my wife. I want to be married to her. Why? What difference does it make to be married or not if we are together?
I do not attend church so the influence is extremely minimal and in passing if at all but I do have strong values including loyalty, kindness and generosity. I did not get married exclusively for my wife. I strongly feel the desire to be married. I just don't understand why or where t comes from.
It seems there is some of my ego involved in the joy my marriage provides which I am embarrassed about but there is another powerful component that I can not put my finger on that almost seems like being part of a strong loving committed team of two. It seems like a very romantic component.
Any ideas where the joy, satisfaction and desire to be married comes from?
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