Hello, any advice on how to detach sexually from my wife so that I do not crave sex with her and so do not "trigger" (happens sometimes, not always) these bad feelings/depression I get ?
I am after any mental techniques, a book or anything. I know there are pills to remove libido but I do not want to medicate unless I have to. I just want to become "roommates" with her so do not suffer like this.
Some background
- My wife is LD (42) and I am higher D (37). We both work full time.
- She used to be good years ago, but now just "dials it in" (think starfish). If I do not initiate, nothing happens. Months go by it doesnt hit her radar. This is making me feel depressed (?) and very bad (hard to describe this clawing feeling inside me) sometimes when I am around her.
- Tried 180 for the last 3 months - she doesnt notice.
- I had "the talk" with her, but as many found I get some contrition and she initiates a few times but then reverts.
- Yes I wash the dishes etc, no I have not gained weight (I actually lost some) etc
- No counseling as finances are tight and she has refused to go (she does eyeroll etc). May try to push more but at this point I dunno if its worth it as she does not seem to care ?
- No kids but due to finances, divorce is not viable at this point in time. Maybe in a year or 2 when finances are better I can do this - hence my need for advice to detach and keep myself functional for the next 2 years.
Any practical advice appreciated - I have never felt this bad (or imagine it could get this bad over some sex !).
I am after any mental techniques, a book or anything. I know there are pills to remove libido but I do not want to medicate unless I have to. I just want to become "roommates" with her so do not suffer like this.
Some background
- My wife is LD (42) and I am higher D (37). We both work full time.
- She used to be good years ago, but now just "dials it in" (think starfish). If I do not initiate, nothing happens. Months go by it doesnt hit her radar. This is making me feel depressed (?) and very bad (hard to describe this clawing feeling inside me) sometimes when I am around her.
- Tried 180 for the last 3 months - she doesnt notice.
- I had "the talk" with her, but as many found I get some contrition and she initiates a few times but then reverts.
- Yes I wash the dishes etc, no I have not gained weight (I actually lost some) etc
- No counseling as finances are tight and she has refused to go (she does eyeroll etc). May try to push more but at this point I dunno if its worth it as she does not seem to care ?
- No kids but due to finances, divorce is not viable at this point in time. Maybe in a year or 2 when finances are better I can do this - hence my need for advice to detach and keep myself functional for the next 2 years.
Any practical advice appreciated - I have never felt this bad (or imagine it could get this bad over some sex !).
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