This seems so silly and petty compared to some of the stuff I have read, but...
So my husband and I met when I was 15, him 25. Except for a small "testing the waters" period when I was 21-22 we have been together for 18 years and married for coming up to 12. Beings I was young, we have gone through a lot, and I have made a lot of mistakes (Cheating, and such) My husband has grown a lot to in the relationship compartment as well. None of the friends my husband had when he met me are still around, I know one was defiantly my fault cause I offended him by bringing a book I had just bought to his house. (I don't have the the best people skills, and I didn't realize it was rude.) The other two where too much into partying and stuff, and when our lifestyles changed, one feel off, and the other got axed when he did a last ditch effort to get us broke up by making up a story about me telling him I cheated on (he was my boyfriend at the time) with a neighbor.
Now he has 3 friends he has made during our relationship, pretty much at the start. The one doesn't come around much because we don't allow drugs at our house, he doesn't have any issues with me. However One hates me (basically because of all the mistakes I have made in the relationship) and the other one is just rude.
The problem is that right now I don't work. I haven't worked in 2 years except for a small side thing to make internet/spending money that I can do while the kids are at school. Every time this guy comes over he badgers me about working, among other things. "do you have a job yet, why don't you apply... blah blah..." I try not to be mean or rude to anyone, and I have explained to him over and over why I don't work. (My kids have improved from barley getting by in school to doing above average for the school and district, my husband is able to have more free time without me getting frustrated as badly for him being gone as often as he likes to be. how it's not financially feasible, etc. Recently my husband was talking on the phone while this guy was over. I had saved up $300 of the money I made to allow my husband to go on a salmon charter. I was pretty proud so I told the friend about it and how I gotten the money. The topic of how much I made came up and he laughed at it bec ause I could make what I make in a month in a week if I got a real job. The badgering has slowly gotten to me and I kinda snapped out of frustration the last time the guy was over, he got a bit of it, than I let it brew and when I finally couldn't help but let it out the friend had left and my husband got the brunt of it, which wasn't fair at all. Now the guy is claiming me as being the reason he no longer wants to come around, trying to convince my husband to leave me home when he goes camping so his friend feels welcomed to come out, etc. and my husband is frustrated because I am driving all his friends away.
The thing is none of his friends (except the book one) where or have been in any lasting relationships. The two that left early on where the player type, and both got married and divorced once during the first 3 years me and my husband where dating. The guy that never comes around has only been in one relationship in the 15+ years we have known him, the guy that hates me has just started his first serious relationship in the last 5 years (which isn't going well) He is older, no kids. The last guy has one 20 or so year daughter that he never saw but paid for, and has never dated in the time we have known him. To top it off he is about 40 or 50 (not sure age) and still lives with his mother.
Anyway I can probably ramble on forever, but basically I don't want to put a wedge between my husband and his friends, he needs friends, even thou these probably aren't the most ideal, however, I really would like his rude type comments to stop. I would love to find friends that would fit us, but I am not the most social person, and I don't know the first thing about trying to make couple friends. I have always been good at getting along with men (except for my husband friends for some reason) but never too much with women except through like facebook, which I am perfectly fine with, but my husband not so much.
Anyway any tips or advice would be nice. Thanks. P.S. Sorry this is so choppy, If I don't post I'll keep editing it forever.
So my husband and I met when I was 15, him 25. Except for a small "testing the waters" period when I was 21-22 we have been together for 18 years and married for coming up to 12. Beings I was young, we have gone through a lot, and I have made a lot of mistakes (Cheating, and such) My husband has grown a lot to in the relationship compartment as well. None of the friends my husband had when he met me are still around, I know one was defiantly my fault cause I offended him by bringing a book I had just bought to his house. (I don't have the the best people skills, and I didn't realize it was rude.) The other two where too much into partying and stuff, and when our lifestyles changed, one feel off, and the other got axed when he did a last ditch effort to get us broke up by making up a story about me telling him I cheated on (he was my boyfriend at the time) with a neighbor.
Now he has 3 friends he has made during our relationship, pretty much at the start. The one doesn't come around much because we don't allow drugs at our house, he doesn't have any issues with me. However One hates me (basically because of all the mistakes I have made in the relationship) and the other one is just rude.
The problem is that right now I don't work. I haven't worked in 2 years except for a small side thing to make internet/spending money that I can do while the kids are at school. Every time this guy comes over he badgers me about working, among other things. "do you have a job yet, why don't you apply... blah blah..." I try not to be mean or rude to anyone, and I have explained to him over and over why I don't work. (My kids have improved from barley getting by in school to doing above average for the school and district, my husband is able to have more free time without me getting frustrated as badly for him being gone as often as he likes to be. how it's not financially feasible, etc. Recently my husband was talking on the phone while this guy was over. I had saved up $300 of the money I made to allow my husband to go on a salmon charter. I was pretty proud so I told the friend about it and how I gotten the money. The topic of how much I made came up and he laughed at it bec ause I could make what I make in a month in a week if I got a real job. The badgering has slowly gotten to me and I kinda snapped out of frustration the last time the guy was over, he got a bit of it, than I let it brew and when I finally couldn't help but let it out the friend had left and my husband got the brunt of it, which wasn't fair at all. Now the guy is claiming me as being the reason he no longer wants to come around, trying to convince my husband to leave me home when he goes camping so his friend feels welcomed to come out, etc. and my husband is frustrated because I am driving all his friends away.
The thing is none of his friends (except the book one) where or have been in any lasting relationships. The two that left early on where the player type, and both got married and divorced once during the first 3 years me and my husband where dating. The guy that never comes around has only been in one relationship in the 15+ years we have known him, the guy that hates me has just started his first serious relationship in the last 5 years (which isn't going well) He is older, no kids. The last guy has one 20 or so year daughter that he never saw but paid for, and has never dated in the time we have known him. To top it off he is about 40 or 50 (not sure age) and still lives with his mother.
Anyway I can probably ramble on forever, but basically I don't want to put a wedge between my husband and his friends, he needs friends, even thou these probably aren't the most ideal, however, I really would like his rude type comments to stop. I would love to find friends that would fit us, but I am not the most social person, and I don't know the first thing about trying to make couple friends. I have always been good at getting along with men (except for my husband friends for some reason) but never too much with women except through like facebook, which I am perfectly fine with, but my husband not so much.
Anyway any tips or advice would be nice. Thanks. P.S. Sorry this is so choppy, If I don't post I'll keep editing it forever.
Put the internet to work for you.
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