i have been encouraged by a friend to post my story here.
I'm getting some pressure to reconcile with my wife of 23 years, but I just can't see it.
We dated for 3 years in college- got pregnant just before graduation- got married.
I worked 2 jobs for the first couple of years, she focused on our son and then our son and daughter.
I bought a store from the guy I was working my seocond job with. He wanted to retire. It took us about 5 years to get the house she wanted in the neighborhood she wanted for the kids, but we made it work.
I don't claim to be husband of the year material, but I always tried. I worked hard, spent time with her and the kids and tried to make the best life together that we could with our family.
Our trouble started near the end of last summer- her younger sister was engaged for her second marriage to a friend of mine. We had set the two of them up and it seemed to work. About 2 weeks before the wedding we had parties planned for the engaged couple. I had a party for my friend at my house- my wife was having a party for her younger sister at another womans house.
My wife was always the "good girl" what a joke. She ended up blowing the guy who showed up at the party. She also arranged for him to be there and used money from our account to pay him. He's a freaking year or two older than our son and both of our kids are in college.
She got busted because some of the women at the party were disgusted and rumors flew. She tried lying about everything to me.
I caught her lying and it was beyond awful. I moved out and am moving forward with a divorce. she has begged, pleaded promised to have told me everything... she had me believeing that I knew everything and then I find out that while she was preganant with our son, after we were married, she kissed an old boyfriend when she was "visiting" her parents.
I've read enough to know that kissed could be a lie. It really doesn't matter even though i think that part may be true. I just can't believe that the person I invested my life with could do this and the times she looked me in the eye and lied without blinking have killed our marriage graveyard dead.
She is begging and pleading, she has tried everything to convince me that she only wants me, she's offered me whatever I want in the bedroom and I'm just not interested any more. It is somehwat confusing to me as I have always been atrracted to her and have definitely been the one to pursue sex in our relationship, now she just isn't appealing. All I can think about is some other d-bags junk in her mouth and the never ending lies.
She has lost a bunch of weight to the point of looking sickly and doesn't leave the house for very much as best as I can tell. She did get a job and works online, I insisted on the job months ago.
All I want is a fair divorce. I feel completely duped and our marriage is no longer special to me. I never thought this would happen, but I guess that no one does.
The kids are raised. They support my position and yes they know most of the awful details.
Am I wrong to not reconcile? It does seem weird to think about dating other women, but I am waiting for the divorce before I start that.
Anyone with experience on how long it will took for their spouse to accept the D process and to stop fighting it every step of the way?
I'm getting some pressure to reconcile with my wife of 23 years, but I just can't see it.
We dated for 3 years in college- got pregnant just before graduation- got married.
I worked 2 jobs for the first couple of years, she focused on our son and then our son and daughter.
I bought a store from the guy I was working my seocond job with. He wanted to retire. It took us about 5 years to get the house she wanted in the neighborhood she wanted for the kids, but we made it work.
I don't claim to be husband of the year material, but I always tried. I worked hard, spent time with her and the kids and tried to make the best life together that we could with our family.
Our trouble started near the end of last summer- her younger sister was engaged for her second marriage to a friend of mine. We had set the two of them up and it seemed to work. About 2 weeks before the wedding we had parties planned for the engaged couple. I had a party for my friend at my house- my wife was having a party for her younger sister at another womans house.
My wife was always the "good girl" what a joke. She ended up blowing the guy who showed up at the party. She also arranged for him to be there and used money from our account to pay him. He's a freaking year or two older than our son and both of our kids are in college.
She got busted because some of the women at the party were disgusted and rumors flew. She tried lying about everything to me.
I caught her lying and it was beyond awful. I moved out and am moving forward with a divorce. she has begged, pleaded promised to have told me everything... she had me believeing that I knew everything and then I find out that while she was preganant with our son, after we were married, she kissed an old boyfriend when she was "visiting" her parents.
I've read enough to know that kissed could be a lie. It really doesn't matter even though i think that part may be true. I just can't believe that the person I invested my life with could do this and the times she looked me in the eye and lied without blinking have killed our marriage graveyard dead.
She is begging and pleading, she has tried everything to convince me that she only wants me, she's offered me whatever I want in the bedroom and I'm just not interested any more. It is somehwat confusing to me as I have always been atrracted to her and have definitely been the one to pursue sex in our relationship, now she just isn't appealing. All I can think about is some other d-bags junk in her mouth and the never ending lies.
She has lost a bunch of weight to the point of looking sickly and doesn't leave the house for very much as best as I can tell. She did get a job and works online, I insisted on the job months ago.
All I want is a fair divorce. I feel completely duped and our marriage is no longer special to me. I never thought this would happen, but I guess that no one does.
The kids are raised. They support my position and yes they know most of the awful details.
Am I wrong to not reconcile? It does seem weird to think about dating other women, but I am waiting for the divorce before I start that.
Anyone with experience on how long it will took for their spouse to accept the D process and to stop fighting it every step of the way?
Put the internet to work for you.
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