Ehh, where to start. We have three kids, 12 and 10yo girls, and a 7yo boy. The 12 year old has had a cell phone for about 7 months or so now. The two rules she had was to keep her grades up, and we, (mom and me), always have access to it. She had three pretty close friends that she was always on the phone with and visiting with, either their houses or ours. I noticed she doesn't hang out with them much anymore. When asked why, all she said was that one of them was being mean, but they are still friends, she just doesn't talk to them as much.
There is a boy in the neighborhood that they hung out with also, would go to his house school hang out and stuff. His mom was home so we never had an issue with it. My wife goes to pick her up the other day, as the get a house away daughter says she forgot something and has to run in and get it, so she runs back. Instead of waiting there, wife goes back to the house and sees her through the glass front door with her arms around somebody kissing them. The way my wife put it, its not the way you would hug/kiss a friend. It wasn't the boy that lives there either.
After they get home, my wife tells me. I'm human, I know there's going to be boys and stuff so we go to talk to her. She completely clams up. Says there's no boyfriend, never kissed a boy. Says it was a female friend she was kissing. Even goes so far as to say that all the boys that hang out there are gay, (these are all 11/12 year olds).
I know she's on all these social media apps on her phone so I tell her it's time to give it up. She proceeds to throw a fit. I have to forcibly restrain her so my wife can get the phone. She has the phone password protected and refuses to give us the code. I had originally set it up with my wifes google account so we would still be able to access it in that event. She went in and set it up to an account she created so we can't get into it at all. At this point she is grounded until she gives us the code.
I decided to let her use my phone once to access one of the apps she uses, (after setting my phone to remember passwords). So after she was done I was able to get into it and read some of her old conversations. From what I can gather, she has dated several boys and is accused of cheating on one of them because she kissed another boy while playing truth or dare. She has a reputation for being a liar amongst her friends, not sure of all the details, but supposedly she has told lies to get another couple to brake up because she liked the boy, and she was accused of stealing money from one her friends, which she admitted to doing to another girl but tells everyone else, and us that she didn't. The three friends I was talking about earlier, in one of the conversations she mentioned that she had done something directly at some point to each of them to make them mad at her.
My wife talked to one of the girls moms, and she said that her daughter had told her they didn't hang out as much because my daughter started hanging out with weird people and was kissing boys and stuff. This is one of the girls that my daughter had mentioned doing something that made her mad.
Im just not sure what path to take from here. Im going to have a talk with her tonight about honesty and about how if she completely destroys our trust in her it will have negative affects for a long time, and about how its better to accept responsibility and move on. Should I confront her with the info I have so far that I know she has lied about if she still refuses to say anything, should a keep applying the squeeze as far as her being gounded and losing privileges until she breaks and unlocks the phone/talks?
I don't remember having any drama in my life when I was 12 years old. Is it just kids these days or what.
There is a boy in the neighborhood that they hung out with also, would go to his house school hang out and stuff. His mom was home so we never had an issue with it. My wife goes to pick her up the other day, as the get a house away daughter says she forgot something and has to run in and get it, so she runs back. Instead of waiting there, wife goes back to the house and sees her through the glass front door with her arms around somebody kissing them. The way my wife put it, its not the way you would hug/kiss a friend. It wasn't the boy that lives there either.
After they get home, my wife tells me. I'm human, I know there's going to be boys and stuff so we go to talk to her. She completely clams up. Says there's no boyfriend, never kissed a boy. Says it was a female friend she was kissing. Even goes so far as to say that all the boys that hang out there are gay, (these are all 11/12 year olds).
I know she's on all these social media apps on her phone so I tell her it's time to give it up. She proceeds to throw a fit. I have to forcibly restrain her so my wife can get the phone. She has the phone password protected and refuses to give us the code. I had originally set it up with my wifes google account so we would still be able to access it in that event. She went in and set it up to an account she created so we can't get into it at all. At this point she is grounded until she gives us the code.
I decided to let her use my phone once to access one of the apps she uses, (after setting my phone to remember passwords). So after she was done I was able to get into it and read some of her old conversations. From what I can gather, she has dated several boys and is accused of cheating on one of them because she kissed another boy while playing truth or dare. She has a reputation for being a liar amongst her friends, not sure of all the details, but supposedly she has told lies to get another couple to brake up because she liked the boy, and she was accused of stealing money from one her friends, which she admitted to doing to another girl but tells everyone else, and us that she didn't. The three friends I was talking about earlier, in one of the conversations she mentioned that she had done something directly at some point to each of them to make them mad at her.
My wife talked to one of the girls moms, and she said that her daughter had told her they didn't hang out as much because my daughter started hanging out with weird people and was kissing boys and stuff. This is one of the girls that my daughter had mentioned doing something that made her mad.
Im just not sure what path to take from here. Im going to have a talk with her tonight about honesty and about how if she completely destroys our trust in her it will have negative affects for a long time, and about how its better to accept responsibility and move on. Should I confront her with the info I have so far that I know she has lied about if she still refuses to say anything, should a keep applying the squeeze as far as her being gounded and losing privileges until she breaks and unlocks the phone/talks?
I don't remember having any drama in my life when I was 12 years old. Is it just kids these days or what.
Put the internet to work for you.
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