I posted this on another thread, but decided I wanted to see this as its own topic, as I think it is a worthy distinction to make.
Below is a basic description sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy. In thinking about these two distinct things, and yes they are distinct, I came up with a few thoughts:
You can have sex without sexual intimacy, either by yourself (masturbation) or with a partner. But emotional intimacy is different, though not the exact opposite. First, if you have emotion, that's all within you. In other words, there's sex without sexual intimacy (sometimes) but no equivalent for emotional intimacy.
Also note that the bonding occurs through emotional intimacy, not sex. If you bond with a person through sex only, then you have mistaken sexual intimacy for emotional intimacy. They are not the same. I wish people understood this better, particularly men.
In case you doubt me, consider this: A woman who gets cancer is 6x more likely to get a divorce than a man who gets cancer. Women stick around; they love from a place of bonded emotional intimacy. Men leave, or at least many do because their bond was a false one. They bonded due to sexual intimacy, which is kinda hard to do if you are going through chemo!
See more at: http://ift.tt/1AhKIKq
Sexual Intimacy
There are times when we hunger for sexual connection, and the longing is physical. Not only might we yearn for intercourse, but we want the press and presence of another person in all his or her sensual splendor - the tastes, scents, sounds, textures - and naturally, visual aspects enhance the experience.
In sex, we let down barriers, and we permit another person into our most private personal spaces.
Sexual intimacy involves a degree of vulnerability and trust - for some more than others, and in some scenarios more than others. (Have you ever considered why a "quickie" with your clothes on may be "hot" but less intimate than slowly undressing with your partner? Think about it. It's a matter of exposure and vulnerability.)
There are times we want (and engage in) sex, not lovemaking. This may occur with no "attachment" whatsoever, with some affection, or with friendship (friends with benefits). As adults, if we're paying attention, we understand the nuances of sharing parts - not hearts.
Emotional Intimacy
There are times when we seek an emotional bond - being accepted for ourselves, loved for ourselves, sharing our happiness or for that matter, tough times. We crave that state of being that is all about closeness, trust, and comfort. We want a special connection with another person at a deep emotional level.
Psychology Today describes emotional intimacy as closeness that requires:
"... a high level of transparency and openness. This involves a degree of vulnerability that can feel uncomfortable or anxiety-producing to many of us."
When achieved in a relationship, emotional intimacy may act as:
"... a formula for enhanced emotional well-being, and physical health as well..."
Note that emotional intimacy does not require physical affection, though certainly for most of us it is enhanced by something as simple as a kiss on the cheek or holding a hand.
Below is a basic description sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy. In thinking about these two distinct things, and yes they are distinct, I came up with a few thoughts:
You can have sex without sexual intimacy, either by yourself (masturbation) or with a partner. But emotional intimacy is different, though not the exact opposite. First, if you have emotion, that's all within you. In other words, there's sex without sexual intimacy (sometimes) but no equivalent for emotional intimacy.
Also note that the bonding occurs through emotional intimacy, not sex. If you bond with a person through sex only, then you have mistaken sexual intimacy for emotional intimacy. They are not the same. I wish people understood this better, particularly men.
In case you doubt me, consider this: A woman who gets cancer is 6x more likely to get a divorce than a man who gets cancer. Women stick around; they love from a place of bonded emotional intimacy. Men leave, or at least many do because their bond was a false one. They bonded due to sexual intimacy, which is kinda hard to do if you are going through chemo!
See more at: http://ift.tt/1AhKIKq
Sexual Intimacy
There are times when we hunger for sexual connection, and the longing is physical. Not only might we yearn for intercourse, but we want the press and presence of another person in all his or her sensual splendor - the tastes, scents, sounds, textures - and naturally, visual aspects enhance the experience.
In sex, we let down barriers, and we permit another person into our most private personal spaces.
Sexual intimacy involves a degree of vulnerability and trust - for some more than others, and in some scenarios more than others. (Have you ever considered why a "quickie" with your clothes on may be "hot" but less intimate than slowly undressing with your partner? Think about it. It's a matter of exposure and vulnerability.)
There are times we want (and engage in) sex, not lovemaking. This may occur with no "attachment" whatsoever, with some affection, or with friendship (friends with benefits). As adults, if we're paying attention, we understand the nuances of sharing parts - not hearts.
Emotional Intimacy
There are times when we seek an emotional bond - being accepted for ourselves, loved for ourselves, sharing our happiness or for that matter, tough times. We crave that state of being that is all about closeness, trust, and comfort. We want a special connection with another person at a deep emotional level.
Psychology Today describes emotional intimacy as closeness that requires:
"... a high level of transparency and openness. This involves a degree of vulnerability that can feel uncomfortable or anxiety-producing to many of us."
When achieved in a relationship, emotional intimacy may act as:
"... a formula for enhanced emotional well-being, and physical health as well..."
Note that emotional intimacy does not require physical affection, though certainly for most of us it is enhanced by something as simple as a kiss on the cheek or holding a hand.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment