I've fallen into this trap over the years, comparing how much we have sex against the norm or most other couples & it doesn't take much figuring to know we are very low. Our average is 18-20 times a year, some multiple months, some zero months, it's usually up to how I'm feeling, she is good with or without.
This year I decided to take others advice and initiate as much as I can, using the philosophy "the more you do it, the more she'll want to". We're already at 6 times, 3 each month, but it hasn't changed any of the dynamic like I thought it would. It is starting to not matter to me again because even though I've become quite resilient over the years with our relationship, sex still messes with my heart. Our relationship tends the stay the same whether sex is there or not. I'm finally at a place of contentment, so I have to be careful to not backslide again.
This year I decided to take others advice and initiate as much as I can, using the philosophy "the more you do it, the more she'll want to". We're already at 6 times, 3 each month, but it hasn't changed any of the dynamic like I thought it would. It is starting to not matter to me again because even though I've become quite resilient over the years with our relationship, sex still messes with my heart. Our relationship tends the stay the same whether sex is there or not. I'm finally at a place of contentment, so I have to be careful to not backslide again.
Put the internet to work for you.
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