I think I'm part venting, part wondering...not sure really...but...
I'm finding it really hard to hold my tongue sometimes with the overwhelming attitude, not just on TAM but irl too, that a second marriage is somehow "less than" a first. Less important I mean.
Mr F has been married before. I have not.
In the lead up to our wedding we constantly heard things like "You don't need a best man, why would you need one? You had one at the first one!" or "Why don't you just go to the registry office, you had a real wedding last time?" or "Don't invite them, they came to the first one, that's enough" - this was from his family, not mine. Mine were over the moon with excitement.
Why is Mr F's marriage to his first wife somehow more important (in other people's eyes) than his marriage to me? Is it because they had a child?
A lot of people think that children should always come before a spouse, but *especially* in second marriages (I agree with this during the initial transition but not going forward). Why? Why only second marriages?
Mr Frusdil and I have a very loving, close and happy marriage. We're rock solid and absolutely devoted to each other (when I'm not telling him off for leaving dishes on the sink or smoking, hehe ;) ) . He's far happier with me than he ever was with his first wife, yet his marriage to me seems to be viewed by so many as less important. Why?
I know other people's views shouldn't bother me but in this instance they do, it's really hurtful :(
I'm finding it really hard to hold my tongue sometimes with the overwhelming attitude, not just on TAM but irl too, that a second marriage is somehow "less than" a first. Less important I mean.
Mr F has been married before. I have not.
In the lead up to our wedding we constantly heard things like "You don't need a best man, why would you need one? You had one at the first one!" or "Why don't you just go to the registry office, you had a real wedding last time?" or "Don't invite them, they came to the first one, that's enough" - this was from his family, not mine. Mine were over the moon with excitement.
Why is Mr F's marriage to his first wife somehow more important (in other people's eyes) than his marriage to me? Is it because they had a child?
A lot of people think that children should always come before a spouse, but *especially* in second marriages (I agree with this during the initial transition but not going forward). Why? Why only second marriages?
Mr Frusdil and I have a very loving, close and happy marriage. We're rock solid and absolutely devoted to each other (when I'm not telling him off for leaving dishes on the sink or smoking, hehe ;) ) . He's far happier with me than he ever was with his first wife, yet his marriage to me seems to be viewed by so many as less important. Why?
I know other people's views shouldn't bother me but in this instance they do, it's really hurtful :(
Put the internet to work for you.
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