Looking for some advice and perspective.
Some background, I'm married w two kids and have a sister who is married w three. Our mom lives in thr general area and is remarried.
Growing up our dad was jealous and abusive, occasionally violent. We saw more of our fair share of violence and shouting matches. When we were adolescents our mom left him and met some one else. Our stepfather wasn't abusive but was an alcoholic and my mom and him would have some massive arguments. During this whole time my mom was forced to work ALOT and we would spend plenty of time at home alone.
As adults, we've learned to deal w our less than ideal childhood. My sister and I both have good marriages and good kids. She especially had some hard times coping with our parents mistakes and made plenty of her own as young adult. Mom and my sister have had their fair share of battles but have been closer because of it, my mom is also much closer to her kids than mine since she's spent so much time w her.
Recently my sister has started her dream job as a flight attendant, much to the chagrin of our mom. but it isn't just a disagreement about a choice of career, my mom has gone completely overboard w her opinion of this choice. She will constantly pester and text my sister, telling her what a horrible and selfish mother she is, and how her husband must not be much of a man if he's going along w this (he's very supportive). our mom has become very ornery and disruptive to the point where her my sister don't speak any longer and I keep my distance too. Mom has even begun to threaten to call child services on my sister. She is saying things and causing rifts that will take yrs to heal cause she doesn't trust my sister and is projecting her
own guilt about all the mistakes she's made.
Which leads to my role. Even as a kid, I was always the rock of the family and expected to give advice. mom's over reaction to this choice of my sisters is digging up some old feelings for me and I see myself just wanting to call my mom up and cuss her out for being such a graceless hypocrite. I don't want to throw fuel to the fire but but I want us to get along and be happy again, not in this state of tension. We've gone through so much and it upsets me to see my mom turn everthing upside down gain.
looking for some advice guidance
Some background, I'm married w two kids and have a sister who is married w three. Our mom lives in thr general area and is remarried.
Growing up our dad was jealous and abusive, occasionally violent. We saw more of our fair share of violence and shouting matches. When we were adolescents our mom left him and met some one else. Our stepfather wasn't abusive but was an alcoholic and my mom and him would have some massive arguments. During this whole time my mom was forced to work ALOT and we would spend plenty of time at home alone.
As adults, we've learned to deal w our less than ideal childhood. My sister and I both have good marriages and good kids. She especially had some hard times coping with our parents mistakes and made plenty of her own as young adult. Mom and my sister have had their fair share of battles but have been closer because of it, my mom is also much closer to her kids than mine since she's spent so much time w her.
Recently my sister has started her dream job as a flight attendant, much to the chagrin of our mom. but it isn't just a disagreement about a choice of career, my mom has gone completely overboard w her opinion of this choice. She will constantly pester and text my sister, telling her what a horrible and selfish mother she is, and how her husband must not be much of a man if he's going along w this (he's very supportive). our mom has become very ornery and disruptive to the point where her my sister don't speak any longer and I keep my distance too. Mom has even begun to threaten to call child services on my sister. She is saying things and causing rifts that will take yrs to heal cause she doesn't trust my sister and is projecting her
own guilt about all the mistakes she's made.
Which leads to my role. Even as a kid, I was always the rock of the family and expected to give advice. mom's over reaction to this choice of my sisters is digging up some old feelings for me and I see myself just wanting to call my mom up and cuss her out for being such a graceless hypocrite. I don't want to throw fuel to the fire but but I want us to get along and be happy again, not in this state of tension. We've gone through so much and it upsets me to see my mom turn everthing upside down gain.
looking for some advice guidance
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