My 13 year old girl is boy crazy. Just clamors for attention from anyone that will give it to her. My ex feels the need to coach her through each "relationship" like it's something that's seriously going to last more than a week. Until recently she'd claimed a few "boyfriends" but they never last more than 2 weeks before she gets bored and finds someone else that will talk mushy to her all the time.
I say until recently because about 2 months ago she met this kid while in another town about an hour away. They exchanged numbers and have been texting non-stop ever since. Long story short however this kid is not someone I want being around my daughter or my family for that matter. My ex doesn't see it that way. She's taken them to the movies twice, once with my sons in tow.
In my opinion if I hear about a boy that my daughter is dating, and I know from reliable sources that he's bad news, my reaction is to force her to sever all contact with that person. In my ex's opinion if I do that then it just creates an even stronger bond between them and it will be harder to deal with.
I understand that I can't stop my daughter from growing up and having feelings and hormones to deal with. I can't stop her from having a boyfriend at school (and I count my blessings that this kid is home schooled an hour away from us). But when there's truly a bad influence over her I should be able to put a stop to it.
The ex is always harping on co-parenting and making decisions for the kids based on mutual agreement so they still see that there is no chance to play one parent against the other. What my ex doesn't realize is my daughter has already figured out all her moms buttons and pushes them at will to get her way. However my daughter knows that I'll snatch that phone out of her hand in a heartbeat if she's disrespectful or grades become an issue.
So, advice? I know every kid is different but I imagined her being at least 15 or 16 and being chaperoned on dates with boys that we actually approve of rather than this crap. And yes, my ex is well aware of the issues I have with this boy but she's still adamant that our daughter has to figure out he's bad on her own.
I say until recently because about 2 months ago she met this kid while in another town about an hour away. They exchanged numbers and have been texting non-stop ever since. Long story short however this kid is not someone I want being around my daughter or my family for that matter. My ex doesn't see it that way. She's taken them to the movies twice, once with my sons in tow.
In my opinion if I hear about a boy that my daughter is dating, and I know from reliable sources that he's bad news, my reaction is to force her to sever all contact with that person. In my ex's opinion if I do that then it just creates an even stronger bond between them and it will be harder to deal with.
I understand that I can't stop my daughter from growing up and having feelings and hormones to deal with. I can't stop her from having a boyfriend at school (and I count my blessings that this kid is home schooled an hour away from us). But when there's truly a bad influence over her I should be able to put a stop to it.
The ex is always harping on co-parenting and making decisions for the kids based on mutual agreement so they still see that there is no chance to play one parent against the other. What my ex doesn't realize is my daughter has already figured out all her moms buttons and pushes them at will to get her way. However my daughter knows that I'll snatch that phone out of her hand in a heartbeat if she's disrespectful or grades become an issue.
So, advice? I know every kid is different but I imagined her being at least 15 or 16 and being chaperoned on dates with boys that we actually approve of rather than this crap. And yes, my ex is well aware of the issues I have with this boy but she's still adamant that our daughter has to figure out he's bad on her own.
Put the internet to work for you.
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