Hey everyone,
I'm friends with people I met in School, College, University and so on. My friend Katherine has always told everyone that I'm her best friend since year 7, so I just kinda copied her and did the same back. We get on well, we have never fought or anything, however I wouldn't say she knows me that well. We've drifted into new friendship groups over the years, but in the end we get in contact and talk like we've never been apart.
I met my friends Leah and Stacey in college, Stacey and I went to the same University where she introduced me to her new friends. Whilst at University I didn't see much of them as I had my own set of friends (they were more associates to be honest). Anyway after University I started going out with Stacey, Stacey's friends and Leah a lot more.
Last year we decided to book a girly holiday, I mentioned it to Katherine and hinted that she should come. Initially she was quite negative about it all, so I left her to it. I didn't openly invite her to come as she seemed disinterested. Months down the line she said she said she was coming, I didn't believe her at one point and forwarded her the booking details.
My friends have met each other at my birthday events , but when I'm invited somewhere I rarely invite my friends outside that particular group. I mean I've invited Katherine to Stacey's birthday events before and she couldn't make them and I introduced them at a music festival we went to. I've just never gone out of my way to get everyone together especially as I never really organize events. Anyway Stacey and co were excited about Katherine coming on holiday as they knew she was a lovely girl.
The holiday was great fun, everyone got on really well and I become closer to another girl and Katherine did the same. When we got back home they planned a little reunion and I couldn't make it due to being in hospital. Anyway Katherine, Stacey and two other girls have become quite close. They go out all the time and sometimes I'm never invited. I feel like an after thought when Katherine invites me places now too. Even when I'm invited I feel out of place. I don't really gel with anyone like I thought I did. Most of the time they sit drinking and talking about the same old and I'm bored out my mind.
They have their own jokes and a group chat I'm not included in. One time one of them added me to the group and since then no one has said anything, then slowly everyone left the chat. Weeks later when I was with them I realized another one was made and I wasn't added.
I like to think I'm open to other people's worlds and I take time to get to know people. I often don't agree with the things they get up to, but I try not to be judgmental and accept them as they are. I don't feel like anyone has taken the time to get to know me. For e.g. they are forever trying to set me up with guys or they will say 'We need you a man'' or will make a sly comment about me being a lesbian. I just don't feel like I can't talk to them about certain things. I'm called weird for some of my ways, when I want to do my own thing its like they can't understand that/
I've only started to pick up on this over the last few weeks. we are due to go on holiday in two months and I'm far from excited, the girls I'm closest to aren't even coming. I really wish there was someway out.
Has anyone else felt like this?
What do I do? I don't want to cut anyone out, I just want to feel like I'm surrounded by people that accept who I am and don't make me feel like this.
Put the internet to work for you.
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