Hello friends,
I hope I came to the right place for help today. I will try to sum this up as short as possible.
Last night, my wife and I were watching a movie. She decides to take a shower before bed. Ok...
So I watch a little tv and a good amount of time passes. I decide its time for bed. I walk into the bedroom and notice the mini vibrator she bought 2 weeks ago is not on the dresser after we had used it a couple nights ago.
I wait for her to get out of the shower and to cover up the baby for night with the blanket. I sneak into the bathroom and on the top of the vanity i located the vibrator. In the container wet as a whistle. She used it. I was actually crushed by the thought of it. I know that may sound crazy to some, but I was. My wife has told me time and time again how hurt she would be if i watched porn or ever masturbated. So I dont. She also claims she tried it once years ago before we met and it didnt do anything for her. She said its gross, its not pleasurable and she would never do it either. OK fine whatever. But then to catch her red handed doing it. I was speechless. I confronted her the moment she came back in the bedroom. I asked her if she had fun. She asks, what? Then i pull it out of my pocket and show her the wet vibrator. I told her I knew she used it. She didnt even hesitate to deny it. But she did say, "i was just curious if it was water proof". Really? I ask. After all you had said to me about me doing and you go and do it to me? I told her I was hurt by it. I was in bed ready for action and she took it upon herself to use a toy. I dont get it. I mean my wife and i have incredible sex. without details, I mean its rough, hardcore and we both get what we need. her multiple times. So why does she need a vibrator. Am I older news after 2 years of marriage. Is it that honeymoon stage everyone talks about, being over? She acted like she did nothing wrong. Like she couldnt believe i was upset. I mean, your willing and able husband is in bed waiting for you. She claims too, that she was going to have sex with me when she came in the room after pleasuring herself. If you know my wife, you know she never puts clothing on after exiting the shower if she wants to have sex with me. Now she was fully dressed in pajama pants and sweatshirt. She was not about to give anything up to me that night. That was a lie as was h er stories about not enjoying or ever masturbating. Should i be worried she is lying about something else? Is she getting bored with me? It sounds dumb i know, but i felt cheated on. Like, why would you need a little toy instead of me, especially given the sex we have? We got into a big fight. I raised my voice she raised hers. We tried calming down and talking about it. But our talking points were way off and it lead to more anger. I stormed out and slept in a parking lot of all things. Then went into work 4 hours early at 3am just because i was wide awake. It has been eating at me. Am i wrong for being upset? I mean she lied about it, told me she would be hurt if she caught me, then she does it. Then she puts a spin on it to make her feel better i guess and says. I wouldnt mind as much if you masturbated as long as your not looking at porn. I guess i dont see the difference in me watching porn and her getting off to a 3 inch vibrating object. She talks abo ut being open and communicating. Had she just told me and not tried to hide it, it would be one thing. But going behind my back hurt to be honest.
At the end of the day things got bad. She is at her sisters for 3 days to cool off and she took the kid with her. This isnt just about this one moment. Its been an on and off thing. We are great for 2 weeks then one bad day leads to 2 days of cool down. I mean life is stressful. I took a 12 dollar pay cut at work, we are in debt up to our ears and i am in school full time while being the only one working while she stays at home with the kid. its just a combination of a lot of things. She wants to see a counselor. I really dont. I cant afford one and i know what they are all about. They tell you that you both need to work on x y and z now that will be 200 bucks. i dont know.
anyone out there have any advise. This time its serious.
I hope I came to the right place for help today. I will try to sum this up as short as possible.
Last night, my wife and I were watching a movie. She decides to take a shower before bed. Ok...
So I watch a little tv and a good amount of time passes. I decide its time for bed. I walk into the bedroom and notice the mini vibrator she bought 2 weeks ago is not on the dresser after we had used it a couple nights ago.
I wait for her to get out of the shower and to cover up the baby for night with the blanket. I sneak into the bathroom and on the top of the vanity i located the vibrator. In the container wet as a whistle. She used it. I was actually crushed by the thought of it. I know that may sound crazy to some, but I was. My wife has told me time and time again how hurt she would be if i watched porn or ever masturbated. So I dont. She also claims she tried it once years ago before we met and it didnt do anything for her. She said its gross, its not pleasurable and she would never do it either. OK fine whatever. But then to catch her red handed doing it. I was speechless. I confronted her the moment she came back in the bedroom. I asked her if she had fun. She asks, what? Then i pull it out of my pocket and show her the wet vibrator. I told her I knew she used it. She didnt even hesitate to deny it. But she did say, "i was just curious if it was water proof". Really? I ask. After all you had said to me about me doing and you go and do it to me? I told her I was hurt by it. I was in bed ready for action and she took it upon herself to use a toy. I dont get it. I mean my wife and i have incredible sex. without details, I mean its rough, hardcore and we both get what we need. her multiple times. So why does she need a vibrator. Am I older news after 2 years of marriage. Is it that honeymoon stage everyone talks about, being over? She acted like she did nothing wrong. Like she couldnt believe i was upset. I mean, your willing and able husband is in bed waiting for you. She claims too, that she was going to have sex with me when she came in the room after pleasuring herself. If you know my wife, you know she never puts clothing on after exiting the shower if she wants to have sex with me. Now she was fully dressed in pajama pants and sweatshirt. She was not about to give anything up to me that night. That was a lie as was h er stories about not enjoying or ever masturbating. Should i be worried she is lying about something else? Is she getting bored with me? It sounds dumb i know, but i felt cheated on. Like, why would you need a little toy instead of me, especially given the sex we have? We got into a big fight. I raised my voice she raised hers. We tried calming down and talking about it. But our talking points were way off and it lead to more anger. I stormed out and slept in a parking lot of all things. Then went into work 4 hours early at 3am just because i was wide awake. It has been eating at me. Am i wrong for being upset? I mean she lied about it, told me she would be hurt if she caught me, then she does it. Then she puts a spin on it to make her feel better i guess and says. I wouldnt mind as much if you masturbated as long as your not looking at porn. I guess i dont see the difference in me watching porn and her getting off to a 3 inch vibrating object. She talks abo ut being open and communicating. Had she just told me and not tried to hide it, it would be one thing. But going behind my back hurt to be honest.
At the end of the day things got bad. She is at her sisters for 3 days to cool off and she took the kid with her. This isnt just about this one moment. Its been an on and off thing. We are great for 2 weeks then one bad day leads to 2 days of cool down. I mean life is stressful. I took a 12 dollar pay cut at work, we are in debt up to our ears and i am in school full time while being the only one working while she stays at home with the kid. its just a combination of a lot of things. She wants to see a counselor. I really dont. I cant afford one and i know what they are all about. They tell you that you both need to work on x y and z now that will be 200 bucks. i dont know.
anyone out there have any advise. This time its serious.
Put the internet to work for you.
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