Very little time to do more than check in/post with a brief update that I'm trying to separate out what's "at/against me" and what's not, and how to protect myself from what angers or hurts me from my husband.
Past few days have been ok--Sunday he had a snarky moment and I said "please don't imply that" and he stepped it back.
And this am on way to work again his grumpy rude side came out. Something I'd done had irritated him--I was indecisive about the valentines we bought for the kids at daycare, and then I ended up with the wrong one. I was saying how silly I was for making that mistake and he said "no comment." That struck me as rude, and I felt myself getting defensive and wary of his criticism, but then reminded myself that HIS annoyance (with me) is his to own.
Then after I thought w were past that, and I had changed the subject to something more neutral, he got rude/snarky again and I said "im just making conversation. There's no need to be rude to me. You wouldn't have said that if you weren't still annoyed with me. So let me know when you are not annoyed with me anymore." Then we arrived at work and walked our separate ways.
I'm probably still using too many words and getting too defensive and emotional, but I'm working on it. Thanks to those who replied before and in advance for your help.
Past few days have been ok--Sunday he had a snarky moment and I said "please don't imply that" and he stepped it back.
And this am on way to work again his grumpy rude side came out. Something I'd done had irritated him--I was indecisive about the valentines we bought for the kids at daycare, and then I ended up with the wrong one. I was saying how silly I was for making that mistake and he said "no comment." That struck me as rude, and I felt myself getting defensive and wary of his criticism, but then reminded myself that HIS annoyance (with me) is his to own.
Then after I thought w were past that, and I had changed the subject to something more neutral, he got rude/snarky again and I said "im just making conversation. There's no need to be rude to me. You wouldn't have said that if you weren't still annoyed with me. So let me know when you are not annoyed with me anymore." Then we arrived at work and walked our separate ways.
I'm probably still using too many words and getting too defensive and emotional, but I'm working on it. Thanks to those who replied before and in advance for your help.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment