In one of the linked articles in another thread titled "How do you deal with anger after infidelity?" ANGER MANAGEMENT is presented. The author states:
Since anger can be of help or it can cause you great damage I think that it is very important to use our free will to make the right choice. Every one that is a BS gets angry and some WS get angry. The issue is not if the BS or WS has the right get angry the issues is how are you going to use anger.
In my case, as a BS, I fought to keep vengeance down and I finally did. What I replaced my vengence with is that I used the highly motivated anger to propel me into improving myself in many areas. Please do not start with posts that accuse me of saying that I was blaming myself for her betrayal. I choose to improve myself so that I could help myself get better. I used the anger motivation to get closer to my extended family members, do some things that interested me like taking college courses that I enjoyed; not college courses that I was required to take, get myself in better physical shape, and get stronger in my faith.
In the years ahead I saw how this was so much better than vengeance. If I had followed through on my vengeance I would have destroyed my wife. Now what would I have gained from that? By making a free will choice to fight vengeance and work on me I ended up far better than if I would have succeeded in my vengeance.
So to sum it up, it is true that your can use anger to get YOU a lot better if you choose the right way to use anger. IMO
HOW DO YOU USE YOUR ANGER?
Quote:
| Anger empowers us, motivates us, and strengthens us. It can even help protect us, but it can also kill us and those we hold dear As I said, the anger is not the problem; it's how anger is expressed that causes problems. They just never learned how to control their overwhelming feelings of anger when dealing with betrayal But anger needs to be expressed assertively not aggressively |
Since anger can be of help or it can cause you great damage I think that it is very important to use our free will to make the right choice. Every one that is a BS gets angry and some WS get angry. The issue is not if the BS or WS has the right get angry the issues is how are you going to use anger.
In my case, as a BS, I fought to keep vengeance down and I finally did. What I replaced my vengence with is that I used the highly motivated anger to propel me into improving myself in many areas. Please do not start with posts that accuse me of saying that I was blaming myself for her betrayal. I choose to improve myself so that I could help myself get better. I used the anger motivation to get closer to my extended family members, do some things that interested me like taking college courses that I enjoyed; not college courses that I was required to take, get myself in better physical shape, and get stronger in my faith.
In the years ahead I saw how this was so much better than vengeance. If I had followed through on my vengeance I would have destroyed my wife. Now what would I have gained from that? By making a free will choice to fight vengeance and work on me I ended up far better than if I would have succeeded in my vengeance.
So to sum it up, it is true that your can use anger to get YOU a lot better if you choose the right way to use anger. IMO
HOW DO YOU USE YOUR ANGER?
Put the internet to work for you.
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