Hello everyone,
I am currently 19, at Uni and turn 20 in March. I am here at university and am so lonely, I work so hard and spend most of the time in the library. I got 80 in my first ever essay, but whats the pointy when I feel so worthless and an idiot anyway?
I am at a so called 'elite' university, and everyone here is so stuck up and above me. Despite this, I know the problem is totally my own fault. I have very little confidence, and since coming here the isolation has shattered my self esteem. It used to be so nice in sixth form, I had some really nice friends but unfortunately I have lost touch with them.
I know its all down to my confidence too which is the problem. I never drink alcohol or go to night clubs/social events as Im either in the library struggling to keep up with my workload or am in my room on my own crying because I am so lonely. At sixth form I was never close to getting a girlfriend either because all I did was work, but I was so much happier there. Girls even said that I was 'good looking' and even said that 'I was the nicest person they know", along with lots of other nice remarks, but unfortunately thats as far as it ever went.
I work so hard here that I just don't see the point in anything anymore if I am going to be lonely. To add to my isolation, I don't even have any close family I can turn too as I lost my parents in 2003 :( .
I already feel so depressed about my birthday coming, as I fear what it'll be like thinking that I went through all of my teenage years without having any fun or having any close friends, instead spending my life isolating myself in the library. I honestly don't want my birthday to come, and I can honestly see myself jumping in the river on the day before my birthday if I am still alone and so isolated here.
Is there anything I can do to get a girlfriend? I am such a nice person when you get to know me!
Put the internet to work for you.
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