For me, a quickie is about 15-20m. A BJ takes at least 30m. Non-rushed sex, about 45m-1hr+. I'm not on medications.
We are both early 40s, married with kids. Coming up on a decade together.
The trouble is, (As with girlfriends as far back as 20yrs ago) my wife has issues with how long I take to have an orgasm. Most of the time we make it work - but lately, shes complaining even more. This weekend, we went to the bedroom to have some mid afternoon fun - and she gave me a BJ that lasted about 35m. Afterward, she said her jaw hurt and that she wouldn't be doing that again any time soon. To me, that was a bit hurtful, because I would pretty much stay between her legs for hours to please her if that's what it took. Its about pleasing your partner.
The next day (We have a standing Sat/Sun sex date) we went to the bedroom again. It is BJ week - and so that is what I thought would happen - but instead, it turned into naked cuddling and her refusing to give me a BJ because of how long I took the day before. She used her boobies on me for a while - but she knows that never gets me all the way there. Then she used her hand for a bit - and after a while asked me to do it myself - which, I told her - "I could do that alone, honey." She sits on the couch every night watching romantic movies with passionate kissing - yet when I asked her to kiss me passionately while this was going on - or when I just tried to kiss her passionately - she blew it off and acted weird about me kissing her neck. She says she cant kiss passionately "on command". I didnt think I was commanding. If you're going to expect me to take care of business myself - you could at least be part of it, right?
Lately, She's limiting chances for weekday quickies - because of this. She's becoming more and more cavalier about cutting me off because I take too long at other times.
I dont know. This isn't my first rodeo - I've been married once before. I know the pattern, 1) boy meets girl, lots of fun and interesting sex, 2) marriage, lower frequency of sex, 3) children, even lower frequency, less interesting sex - but enough to keep things level in the relationship. That is the pattern. I hear it from others too.
With her, she just seems like shes going through the motions the older we get. Shes figured out what I like - she knows I like kissing and her making little sounds - I like seeing her in nice panties - she knows I like BJ a certain way - she knows what I like during intercourse - but shes got less feeling behind it, and she has less drive to take me to climax if its outside of her comfort zone. For her it seems, the goal is to get me there faster so she can get on to other things. It's like she's totally preoccupied with everything else.
Is there some way to improve the time it takes to have an orgasm as a guy? I don't think there is - but maybe someone has been through this?
What does it mean - and what do you do - when your wife starts to seem mechanical and somewhat cold in her 40s about pleasing you, and sex in general? Talking to her always results into "nothing is wrong", yet, something doesn't feel right.
We are both early 40s, married with kids. Coming up on a decade together.
The trouble is, (As with girlfriends as far back as 20yrs ago) my wife has issues with how long I take to have an orgasm. Most of the time we make it work - but lately, shes complaining even more. This weekend, we went to the bedroom to have some mid afternoon fun - and she gave me a BJ that lasted about 35m. Afterward, she said her jaw hurt and that she wouldn't be doing that again any time soon. To me, that was a bit hurtful, because I would pretty much stay between her legs for hours to please her if that's what it took. Its about pleasing your partner.
The next day (We have a standing Sat/Sun sex date) we went to the bedroom again. It is BJ week - and so that is what I thought would happen - but instead, it turned into naked cuddling and her refusing to give me a BJ because of how long I took the day before. She used her boobies on me for a while - but she knows that never gets me all the way there. Then she used her hand for a bit - and after a while asked me to do it myself - which, I told her - "I could do that alone, honey." She sits on the couch every night watching romantic movies with passionate kissing - yet when I asked her to kiss me passionately while this was going on - or when I just tried to kiss her passionately - she blew it off and acted weird about me kissing her neck. She says she cant kiss passionately "on command". I didnt think I was commanding. If you're going to expect me to take care of business myself - you could at least be part of it, right?
Lately, She's limiting chances for weekday quickies - because of this. She's becoming more and more cavalier about cutting me off because I take too long at other times.
I dont know. This isn't my first rodeo - I've been married once before. I know the pattern, 1) boy meets girl, lots of fun and interesting sex, 2) marriage, lower frequency of sex, 3) children, even lower frequency, less interesting sex - but enough to keep things level in the relationship. That is the pattern. I hear it from others too.
With her, she just seems like shes going through the motions the older we get. Shes figured out what I like - she knows I like kissing and her making little sounds - I like seeing her in nice panties - she knows I like BJ a certain way - she knows what I like during intercourse - but shes got less feeling behind it, and she has less drive to take me to climax if its outside of her comfort zone. For her it seems, the goal is to get me there faster so she can get on to other things. It's like she's totally preoccupied with everything else.
Is there some way to improve the time it takes to have an orgasm as a guy? I don't think there is - but maybe someone has been through this?
What does it mean - and what do you do - when your wife starts to seem mechanical and somewhat cold in her 40s about pleasing you, and sex in general? Talking to her always results into "nothing is wrong", yet, something doesn't feel right.
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