Yes, you read that right. 8 years. I've posted before about my relationship with my husband and how I told him I'd never been in love with him. That was about 8 years ago. I can understand why he totally withdrew, physically and emotionally, after hearing this. I said I would leave, but he wanted me to stay, so I have.
Now, 8 years after I first told him about my feelings, we are together, but our relationship is, and has been for 8 years, totally platonic. No hand holding, kissing, or anything. He says that there are all kinds of marriages (in response to a recent comment I made that ours isn't normal). We hardly ever talk about the situation, but I recently asked him if he remembered what I said about never being in love with him, and he said no, he didn't remember. So I guess he isn't mad about it anymore?? If not, then can't we try to fix the relationship? He doesn't seem to want to and prefers to act like nothing is wrong.
My question to the group is, is this what marriages normally are like as time goes on? We have been married 34 years and are both in our late 50's. Neither of us has ever dated anyone else. He has a lot of women friends and recently was with one of them until 1 am on a weeknight, fixing her washing machine, he said. I just have a very hard time thinking he's having an affair as he is very honorable (and stubborn) about any promise or vow he makes.
Unfortunately, I took to food as a love substitute and have gained 40 pounds in the last 2-3 years. He doesn't say anything about it, and we were platonic way before the weight gain, but now I would feel gross and ugly were he inclined to see me without all my clothes on (he hasn't for years).
So is this just how it gets after so many years?
I
Now, 8 years after I first told him about my feelings, we are together, but our relationship is, and has been for 8 years, totally platonic. No hand holding, kissing, or anything. He says that there are all kinds of marriages (in response to a recent comment I made that ours isn't normal). We hardly ever talk about the situation, but I recently asked him if he remembered what I said about never being in love with him, and he said no, he didn't remember. So I guess he isn't mad about it anymore?? If not, then can't we try to fix the relationship? He doesn't seem to want to and prefers to act like nothing is wrong.
My question to the group is, is this what marriages normally are like as time goes on? We have been married 34 years and are both in our late 50's. Neither of us has ever dated anyone else. He has a lot of women friends and recently was with one of them until 1 am on a weeknight, fixing her washing machine, he said. I just have a very hard time thinking he's having an affair as he is very honorable (and stubborn) about any promise or vow he makes.
Unfortunately, I took to food as a love substitute and have gained 40 pounds in the last 2-3 years. He doesn't say anything about it, and we were platonic way before the weight gain, but now I would feel gross and ugly were he inclined to see me without all my clothes on (he hasn't for years).
So is this just how it gets after so many years?
I
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