You can read my story here: http://ift.tt/1t2UmIc
Long story short my husband has had a 3 year affair and has a 1 1/2 year old daughter with OW. We have no children and I am infertile. We are trying to fix the marriage. Both of us are in individual and marriage counseling. It's been a month since I found out.
My husband is trying. He has been sensitive to my needs and has been doing things with me. He is more affectionate and spends more time with me then he has in years.
However, I still can't put the affair out of my head. I have nightmares about the two of them together. I don't trust him and there are days when I want to run from this marriage. I love him and feel like there will always be a part of me that loves him, but sometimes I don't know why I am trying to save this marriage.
I have not yet met his daughter or the OW and I know that it is only a matter of time till it happens if we continue to try to reconcile. My husband wants to be part of his daughter's life. I think it's good he is trying to take responsibility for her, but there are days where I don't want to be part of this mess. Sometimes I only see more heartache in my future and I think what is the point of trying to save this marriage when everyday I will have reminders of his affair?
Other days I recognize his renewed commitment to the marriage and me. I see the progress he is making. He comforts me when I am sad or upset and I try to do the same when he misses his daughter. I recognize that he was unhappy in the marriage for a long time, but I never was aware of it. He never told me. I know he regrets the affair and wants to save the marriage.
There is a 3 1/2 hour distance between my husband and his child. Some days I feel completely guilty because my husband has chosen to live with me rather than move closer to his daughter. I don't stop him from financially supporting, contacting the mother for information, or seeing his child (although I told him I need to be there when he sees her). I know I didn't cause this mess, but sometimes I feel guilty for playing any part in the distance between father and daughter.
As you can see I am an emotional mess. Any advice would be appreciated.
Long story short my husband has had a 3 year affair and has a 1 1/2 year old daughter with OW. We have no children and I am infertile. We are trying to fix the marriage. Both of us are in individual and marriage counseling. It's been a month since I found out.
My husband is trying. He has been sensitive to my needs and has been doing things with me. He is more affectionate and spends more time with me then he has in years.
However, I still can't put the affair out of my head. I have nightmares about the two of them together. I don't trust him and there are days when I want to run from this marriage. I love him and feel like there will always be a part of me that loves him, but sometimes I don't know why I am trying to save this marriage.
I have not yet met his daughter or the OW and I know that it is only a matter of time till it happens if we continue to try to reconcile. My husband wants to be part of his daughter's life. I think it's good he is trying to take responsibility for her, but there are days where I don't want to be part of this mess. Sometimes I only see more heartache in my future and I think what is the point of trying to save this marriage when everyday I will have reminders of his affair?
Other days I recognize his renewed commitment to the marriage and me. I see the progress he is making. He comforts me when I am sad or upset and I try to do the same when he misses his daughter. I recognize that he was unhappy in the marriage for a long time, but I never was aware of it. He never told me. I know he regrets the affair and wants to save the marriage.
There is a 3 1/2 hour distance between my husband and his child. Some days I feel completely guilty because my husband has chosen to live with me rather than move closer to his daughter. I don't stop him from financially supporting, contacting the mother for information, or seeing his child (although I told him I need to be there when he sees her). I know I didn't cause this mess, but sometimes I feel guilty for playing any part in the distance between father and daughter.
As you can see I am an emotional mess. Any advice would be appreciated.
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