This is my first time visiting or posting in a forum like this. It's also the first time I've been able to share what's going on in my marriage, it's so hard to talk to friends or family about any of it.
My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for a little over 1 year. We're best friends, without a doubt, and share everything with each other.
However, slowly but surely over the last 2 years things have changed for us. We have lost all the things that make a relationship more than just friends. For example, we aren't physically intimate, we don't kiss, cuddle or hold hands, we don't use pet names with each other.
We are just two best friends who live together.
Most of the time it isn't an issue, but the divide between us is widening and we're both feeling it, the problem is getting bigger and we have started talking about it more. We both miss kissing someone, feeling attracted to someone, getting affection, feeling wanted.
The life plans we have together are amazing, we have so much fun together and are living a wonderful life, achieving all our life dreams. But at the same time, I feel sad and trapped sometimes, because I can't get the love and affection I need from my husband and, to be honest, I don't want it from him as I don't feel that attraction anymore and he has said he doesn't feel it for me either.
We've spoken about all of this very openly and honestly and both agree on the reality of how things are between us. But, we love each other and have said we want to stay with each other and be like this rather than lose each other entirely.
To be honest, I don't know what to do. He cried openly when we spoke about our problems, I sat there like a robot. A few years ago I would've been a weepy, crying mess right there with him. But now, I feel like I'm hardened.
I have seen such a change in myself. A few years ago I was romantic and sentimental, going out of my way to treat my man and spoil him, make him feel special. Now, I can barely bring myself to write him a birthday card or make him dinner. It makes me sad to know I've lost that sweet part of myself.
Do I accept this is my life now and resign myself to knowing, at 28, that I won't ever get those feelings back for my husband. Do I accept the 'in-love' part of my life is over forever? Or do I lose my best friend and walk away from a life I love?
Is this normal? Does every marriage wind up being a best-friend style relationship? Am I being foolish to want to feel physical attraction and those 'in-love' feelings forever?
A big fear of mine is, if my husband and I split and I met someone else and re-married, would I just find myself in this same situation in another 7 years? Is this just the inevitable cycle of every relationship?
It's so isolating and I feel incredibly confused and lost in all of this. Some days you feel normal and forget you have any problems with your partner and then the next day it all comes crashing back in again, it's so draining.
I haven't had any outlet to share this with, so thank you to the people who run this forum for giving me a space to voice this and to anyone who replies for sharing their advice.
My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for a little over 1 year. We're best friends, without a doubt, and share everything with each other.
However, slowly but surely over the last 2 years things have changed for us. We have lost all the things that make a relationship more than just friends. For example, we aren't physically intimate, we don't kiss, cuddle or hold hands, we don't use pet names with each other.
We are just two best friends who live together.
Most of the time it isn't an issue, but the divide between us is widening and we're both feeling it, the problem is getting bigger and we have started talking about it more. We both miss kissing someone, feeling attracted to someone, getting affection, feeling wanted.
The life plans we have together are amazing, we have so much fun together and are living a wonderful life, achieving all our life dreams. But at the same time, I feel sad and trapped sometimes, because I can't get the love and affection I need from my husband and, to be honest, I don't want it from him as I don't feel that attraction anymore and he has said he doesn't feel it for me either.
We've spoken about all of this very openly and honestly and both agree on the reality of how things are between us. But, we love each other and have said we want to stay with each other and be like this rather than lose each other entirely.
To be honest, I don't know what to do. He cried openly when we spoke about our problems, I sat there like a robot. A few years ago I would've been a weepy, crying mess right there with him. But now, I feel like I'm hardened.
I have seen such a change in myself. A few years ago I was romantic and sentimental, going out of my way to treat my man and spoil him, make him feel special. Now, I can barely bring myself to write him a birthday card or make him dinner. It makes me sad to know I've lost that sweet part of myself.
Do I accept this is my life now and resign myself to knowing, at 28, that I won't ever get those feelings back for my husband. Do I accept the 'in-love' part of my life is over forever? Or do I lose my best friend and walk away from a life I love?
Is this normal? Does every marriage wind up being a best-friend style relationship? Am I being foolish to want to feel physical attraction and those 'in-love' feelings forever?
A big fear of mine is, if my husband and I split and I met someone else and re-married, would I just find myself in this same situation in another 7 years? Is this just the inevitable cycle of every relationship?
It's so isolating and I feel incredibly confused and lost in all of this. Some days you feel normal and forget you have any problems with your partner and then the next day it all comes crashing back in again, it's so draining.
I haven't had any outlet to share this with, so thank you to the people who run this forum for giving me a space to voice this and to anyone who replies for sharing their advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
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