Hello All,
Not only am I new to this forum, I am new to forums completely so forgive me any faux pas.
My wife and I have been married for six years. We are both in our late thirties. Since the conception of our child almost four years ago, she has been diving deeper and deeper into depression. We have talked about it relentlessly and each time we resolve ourselves to try harder. I have become a much more attentive husband doing the things she needs to feel appreciated (house work, making time for togetherness, understanding, patience). She has made great strides understanding her depression and how it affects us and our marriage. However, the one thing that eludes us is our sex life. Since conception, there has been zero sex. Over four years. She realizes it is her depression, self esteem , etc.... for this, but when I try to talk to her about it, it seems to drive her deeper into depression and even further away from wanting sex. She says she feels awful about it but still cannot make the leap. For fear of making her worse off then she is, I have recently decided that I can no longer bring up the subject . We have been to therapy together once with some good results. The therapist said she would like to see my wife separately to further discuss her issues. And now she will not go back. She doesn't flat out refuse to go, she just doesn't make time to go. Always some excuse (no time, not feeling well etc..) I am at a loss. I feel that she is stuck. Now, since it has been years since we have been intimate with each other, I am getting pretty frustrated. I believe that sex is an important part of a loving marriage and that sex brings intimacy into the rest of the marriage. It has come to a point where I can only think of sex.
Any advice out there?
Not only am I new to this forum, I am new to forums completely so forgive me any faux pas.
My wife and I have been married for six years. We are both in our late thirties. Since the conception of our child almost four years ago, she has been diving deeper and deeper into depression. We have talked about it relentlessly and each time we resolve ourselves to try harder. I have become a much more attentive husband doing the things she needs to feel appreciated (house work, making time for togetherness, understanding, patience). She has made great strides understanding her depression and how it affects us and our marriage. However, the one thing that eludes us is our sex life. Since conception, there has been zero sex. Over four years. She realizes it is her depression, self esteem , etc.... for this, but when I try to talk to her about it, it seems to drive her deeper into depression and even further away from wanting sex. She says she feels awful about it but still cannot make the leap. For fear of making her worse off then she is, I have recently decided that I can no longer bring up the subject . We have been to therapy together once with some good results. The therapist said she would like to see my wife separately to further discuss her issues. And now she will not go back. She doesn't flat out refuse to go, she just doesn't make time to go. Always some excuse (no time, not feeling well etc..) I am at a loss. I feel that she is stuck. Now, since it has been years since we have been intimate with each other, I am getting pretty frustrated. I believe that sex is an important part of a loving marriage and that sex brings intimacy into the rest of the marriage. It has come to a point where I can only think of sex.
Any advice out there?
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