Hi all,
My life is finally getting to more stable ground. Divorce is not final yet but will be soon. I began seeing someone about a month ago. going on two months soon. My question is kinda silly I think, but I have to ask because I have no clue what to expect. I was married at 18 and had 2 kids with a loser who cheated on me and manipulated me into believing he was right even when my gut screamed he was wrong. I was isolated and alone to say the least. Anyway, my new "friend" and I have been getting very cozy and we share very intimate conversations and have a great time together when we see each other. We spoke almost everyday, and I was taking it slow, just having fun with it. I am not trying to bring men around my kids at all, so this is all for me at the moment.
Well, lately I feel like I am the one trying to connect with him. I call, I text and don't get replies. When I confronted him about it, he got a bit defensive and said he wasn't gonna deal with this crap. Ok fine I got it. I didn't think I was being clingy being I only called in the same manner we had been speaking. But I guess since I copped an attitude he gave it back to me. Anyway we didn't speak that day and later that night he showed up at my door and we spoke clearly about it. Basically, he told me he likes me and it should be obvious since he is with me every chance he gets. OK he got points for that. But then I made my point and said well I knew you were away for work and then I didn't hear from you when I knew you would be back and you didn't reply to my messages or anything. At least a simple I am busy would suffice. He said he got my side too after he got pissy. In the end the story was he left his phone behind and had to retrieve it from his buddy when he got back home. SO basically what I got out of this conversation is that he is digging me but is taking it super slow. There is no one else he promised, and he eventually would love for us to be an item but he is treading water because we are getting to know each other. Fine I got that. I agree. We have to take it slow. My question is, does that mean we go days without speaking to one another? Is that a normal part of dating and taking it slow, or am I possibly getting played?
I must mention he is very reserved and serious so I could totally see him taking things slow like he is doing it. But I am so used to people calling me and blowing up my phone that his lack of attention makes me think he isn't that into me.
Is it me? Am I just thinking too much into it? I don't want to scare him off as it is obvious from our conversations he is extremely picky about his women, he has told me plenty of stories of the people he has dated, and although we are doing great, I don't want to come off as clingy when really I am just used to the idea that when a man wants you he will pursue you like a dog. Am I wrong to think that and if so please guide me. I really like him, but I also have my life, and my kids, and school, and work, and family, and and and, but he is always on my mind and it bothers me. I wish it didn't but it does. The last time I saw him was this past wed (spent the entire day bumming it at home together), we spoke later that night to say good night and he said he would call me thurs. Half way into my day I sent him a kissy face via text, no reply, I called him later at night and left a vm. Still no call or reply. So guess what, I haven't contacted him at all. I figure he needs time apart and he needs to miss me a bit. Im not sure about what the hell I am doing or if I am going about it the right way. HELP!!
My life is finally getting to more stable ground. Divorce is not final yet but will be soon. I began seeing someone about a month ago. going on two months soon. My question is kinda silly I think, but I have to ask because I have no clue what to expect. I was married at 18 and had 2 kids with a loser who cheated on me and manipulated me into believing he was right even when my gut screamed he was wrong. I was isolated and alone to say the least. Anyway, my new "friend" and I have been getting very cozy and we share very intimate conversations and have a great time together when we see each other. We spoke almost everyday, and I was taking it slow, just having fun with it. I am not trying to bring men around my kids at all, so this is all for me at the moment.
Well, lately I feel like I am the one trying to connect with him. I call, I text and don't get replies. When I confronted him about it, he got a bit defensive and said he wasn't gonna deal with this crap. Ok fine I got it. I didn't think I was being clingy being I only called in the same manner we had been speaking. But I guess since I copped an attitude he gave it back to me. Anyway we didn't speak that day and later that night he showed up at my door and we spoke clearly about it. Basically, he told me he likes me and it should be obvious since he is with me every chance he gets. OK he got points for that. But then I made my point and said well I knew you were away for work and then I didn't hear from you when I knew you would be back and you didn't reply to my messages or anything. At least a simple I am busy would suffice. He said he got my side too after he got pissy. In the end the story was he left his phone behind and had to retrieve it from his buddy when he got back home. SO basically what I got out of this conversation is that he is digging me but is taking it super slow. There is no one else he promised, and he eventually would love for us to be an item but he is treading water because we are getting to know each other. Fine I got that. I agree. We have to take it slow. My question is, does that mean we go days without speaking to one another? Is that a normal part of dating and taking it slow, or am I possibly getting played?
I must mention he is very reserved and serious so I could totally see him taking things slow like he is doing it. But I am so used to people calling me and blowing up my phone that his lack of attention makes me think he isn't that into me.
Is it me? Am I just thinking too much into it? I don't want to scare him off as it is obvious from our conversations he is extremely picky about his women, he has told me plenty of stories of the people he has dated, and although we are doing great, I don't want to come off as clingy when really I am just used to the idea that when a man wants you he will pursue you like a dog. Am I wrong to think that and if so please guide me. I really like him, but I also have my life, and my kids, and school, and work, and family, and and and, but he is always on my mind and it bothers me. I wish it didn't but it does. The last time I saw him was this past wed (spent the entire day bumming it at home together), we spoke later that night to say good night and he said he would call me thurs. Half way into my day I sent him a kissy face via text, no reply, I called him later at night and left a vm. Still no call or reply. So guess what, I haven't contacted him at all. I figure he needs time apart and he needs to miss me a bit. Im not sure about what the hell I am doing or if I am going about it the right way. HELP!!
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