I have decided to start this thread because it does seem that some men expect very straight relationship here: when they do the dishes then they will have sex. And of course, then they are disappointed if not, and call it all b/s.
So ladies, let's try to explain better how it works. I start - it is about fairness to each other. If there are two working adults in the relationship, they both should be sharing their household responsibilities. If you are slowly moving your part into your wife, you are showing her that you are completely fine in abusing her trust in your fairness, in abousing her sense of responsibility for the house, as long as you can get away with it. You want things to be taken care of, without being bothered. You want your wife to be what your mother was to you: make sure things are done around the house, remind you of your responsiblities, nagging you to to your share. Convinience killed your sense fo fairness to your wife. do you think she likes to nag, ask, beg for you to do something? She hates herself for becoming nagging wife, and she start resenting you for making her to do it. And remember - if you want mommy at home to take care of you - that relationship does not include se x. The resentment keeps building up. The HD wife slowly becomes LD, because her "we are equals" husband turn into "go do it" husband.
Imagine, you are single, and decided to rent a house with your best buddy. The best scenario ever, yes? But soon you realize that your buddy leaves dirty dishes in sink, forgets to stop for groceries when it's his turn, leaves dirty clothes overflowing in the hamper. At the beginning you overlook this, do it for him, but after a while you realize your buddy is using you to do the dirty job for him. You ask, you nag, and you hate it. Now you do not even feel like going for a beer whit him, it's not fun anymore. When the lease is up, you are not renewing. Your friendship took huge dent.
Clarification: we are talking here about marriage of two adults, working full time
So ladies, let's try to explain better how it works. I start - it is about fairness to each other. If there are two working adults in the relationship, they both should be sharing their household responsibilities. If you are slowly moving your part into your wife, you are showing her that you are completely fine in abusing her trust in your fairness, in abousing her sense of responsibility for the house, as long as you can get away with it. You want things to be taken care of, without being bothered. You want your wife to be what your mother was to you: make sure things are done around the house, remind you of your responsiblities, nagging you to to your share. Convinience killed your sense fo fairness to your wife. do you think she likes to nag, ask, beg for you to do something? She hates herself for becoming nagging wife, and she start resenting you for making her to do it. And remember - if you want mommy at home to take care of you - that relationship does not include se x. The resentment keeps building up. The HD wife slowly becomes LD, because her "we are equals" husband turn into "go do it" husband.
Imagine, you are single, and decided to rent a house with your best buddy. The best scenario ever, yes? But soon you realize that your buddy leaves dirty dishes in sink, forgets to stop for groceries when it's his turn, leaves dirty clothes overflowing in the hamper. At the beginning you overlook this, do it for him, but after a while you realize your buddy is using you to do the dirty job for him. You ask, you nag, and you hate it. Now you do not even feel like going for a beer whit him, it's not fun anymore. When the lease is up, you are not renewing. Your friendship took huge dent.
Clarification: we are talking here about marriage of two adults, working full time
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