I'll make this as short as possible. Feb. 2012 found solid proof of an affair by my wife with a Facebook friend who happens to be distant kin to me. We were married 20 years with 3 children ages 12, 8, and 2 then. I did everything I could handle to try to stop this, some of them the wrong things I'm sure, until Aug. when I saw a lawyer to try to shock her out of it. She was completely in this. Nothing would change her mind. I hired a PI and did as my lawyer said to prove adultery. My children were with OM ALOT and I was put aside like I meant nothing. When the PI reports came with video and pics, she wanted to come to an agreement, which my lawyer suggested we do. I only pay child support, no alimony, nothing, and we share custody. The debts were divided and paid. It's a done deal. I caught her in more lies during all this than I thought any one person could ever tell. Just the nature of the beast I guess. Anyhow she moved out in Nov. 2012 i nto a house OM bought for them and our kids. Our divorce was final in Oct. 2013 with her saying on that day she didn't want a divorce. She always said she didn't want divorced. Always said she loved me, but had to move out to see where her heart really was. Total BS. Had to be with OM, I know. So, a week after she moves out, she's calling and emailing that she wants to come home and work this out. I told her from day one that no contact with OM has to be established first, then we'll talk. Here we are, she's been gone almost 2 years now, still every day emailing and calling to say she's coming home to fix our family for good. Says this will never, ever happen again. But, I have been given every, and I mean every, excuse and reason in the book for why she's not left OM yet. Now, she says she's afraid there will be trouble with OM when she leaves there. Trouble for her and us. She wants to get restraining order, so she says. I'm just lost here on what to believe and what is BS. I will say that as far as words and talking to me, she sounds like a truly changes person who is sorry for what has happened. She talks great. Just like someone who really wants to reconcile, but the one problem...she still lives in the house he bought, and makes up a reason every single day for not leaving there. I'm just looking for some other views on this. I have read a lot of books, and have taken responsibility for my share of our problems, but not the affair. We had what I thought was a good marriage. There was no fighting, arguing, nothing. We got along great, but seemed to fall into a rut with duties of parenthood and all. She started Facebook about a year before DDay, and I could sense what was going to happen. I tried to talk to her, but she said she needed Facebook to unwind after each day. I have always worked and she was a stay at home Mom. And one more thing, she cheated on me one time before, 12 years prior to this one, but ended it after 4 months. I know we didn't fix what was wrong then, and it happened again. I don't ever want to go thru what I've, or my kids, have been thru again. I would love to have my family back, but at this point I'm really lost on what to do. Thanks
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