I have been married for 4 years- we have 2 young kids. My husband makes a lot more than me. I have a good career and am working part time.
Our relationship has been through a lot of problems basically since we had kids- which was pretty quick into the marriage- about 1 year in.
We came in very independent. We had separate bank accounts, credit cards, homes from before we were married.
My issues with him: he appears to have a very mine and yours mentality.
He bought a car almost 50K with a bare mention to me beforehand. He bought a luxury car with only 2 doors- although we have 2 kids and he's told me that he doesn't want to put a car seat in the car- he's had the car for more than 6 months and he's never taken our kids in his car.
He only recently added me to his bank account after a very long fight over the issue. In the past he has threatened me with "things". Saying I could leave because the house was his- it is in his name. This is something we've fought about.
One time he canceled a credit card he had given me because I left after a fight- he said he was worried I would spend it. Recently when I left after a fight, he told me that I had to leave the phone and the car because they were "his".
Since that fight he said he wouldn't say those things to me anymore.
He is refusing therapy- we've been in the past.
As far as my issues-
I can be very hostile and I don't get over thing easily . We've had fights every weekend for about a month and I was the initiator. It was over issues that he sort of refuses to deal with- trust and problems from his parents divorce and how they affect him/us. But none the less I started the fights and can be cold when Im upset.
From my perspective he is distant and refuses to see the yours/ mine mentality as a problem. And from his perspective he thinks I am an angry B**** that will never be happy no matter what he does.
I am really lost. I am seeing counseling this coming week- without him because he doesn't want to go. Any insight?
Our relationship has been through a lot of problems basically since we had kids- which was pretty quick into the marriage- about 1 year in.
We came in very independent. We had separate bank accounts, credit cards, homes from before we were married.
My issues with him: he appears to have a very mine and yours mentality.
He bought a car almost 50K with a bare mention to me beforehand. He bought a luxury car with only 2 doors- although we have 2 kids and he's told me that he doesn't want to put a car seat in the car- he's had the car for more than 6 months and he's never taken our kids in his car.
He only recently added me to his bank account after a very long fight over the issue. In the past he has threatened me with "things". Saying I could leave because the house was his- it is in his name. This is something we've fought about.
One time he canceled a credit card he had given me because I left after a fight- he said he was worried I would spend it. Recently when I left after a fight, he told me that I had to leave the phone and the car because they were "his".
Since that fight he said he wouldn't say those things to me anymore.
He is refusing therapy- we've been in the past.
As far as my issues-
I can be very hostile and I don't get over thing easily . We've had fights every weekend for about a month and I was the initiator. It was over issues that he sort of refuses to deal with- trust and problems from his parents divorce and how they affect him/us. But none the less I started the fights and can be cold when Im upset.
From my perspective he is distant and refuses to see the yours/ mine mentality as a problem. And from his perspective he thinks I am an angry B**** that will never be happy no matter what he does.
I am really lost. I am seeing counseling this coming week- without him because he doesn't want to go. Any insight?
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