I have two grown step children. A SD of 22, and a SS of 24 years old. They are completely opposite to each other.
SS is a very nice, polite party-boy. He gets by in college and doesn't work - not even in summer. He hates work. Also, he will not do a thing aroung the house - not even bring the trash can in! I end up cleaning his bathroom for him! And he always brings someone over - it can be just his gf or a bunch of drunk friends, who may stay at our house for days after the party is over. Last time he brought a girl and wanted to have her stay with us for 5 months.
SD is a very aggressive and mean little creature. She provides a little help around the house (very little), and she doesn't bring any guests (probably because she has no friends), but she is very quick to yell and just get mean with anyone (including her father and I). She doesn't even need a reason for getting mad at us - bad mood is a reason enough! I ended up minimizing any communication with her because I got completely exhausted from disrespect and abuse. She doesn't go to college and works some very simple job. She is fine making minimum wage because she was raised by her mom that her father owes her and must pay her way.
They both live most of the time with us. This summer we took a break from them though: SD went to live with her mom, and my husband paid for an apartment for his son and son's gf, so that they live separately (having yet another person in the house (gf) made it just too loud and difficult to be in the house).
Now, provided their age, I am really not in the position of telling them how to live their lives, how to behave, etc. They are adults! My problem is that I feel guilty for not being able to build good relationships with them. I am tired of this feeling and sometimes I think to myself that maybe I should just leave them alone - as in them and their father. Let them live their life the way they want it, instead of getting in the middle of it with my feelings. I love my husband very much, but his kids wear me out!
SS is a very nice, polite party-boy. He gets by in college and doesn't work - not even in summer. He hates work. Also, he will not do a thing aroung the house - not even bring the trash can in! I end up cleaning his bathroom for him! And he always brings someone over - it can be just his gf or a bunch of drunk friends, who may stay at our house for days after the party is over. Last time he brought a girl and wanted to have her stay with us for 5 months.
SD is a very aggressive and mean little creature. She provides a little help around the house (very little), and she doesn't bring any guests (probably because she has no friends), but she is very quick to yell and just get mean with anyone (including her father and I). She doesn't even need a reason for getting mad at us - bad mood is a reason enough! I ended up minimizing any communication with her because I got completely exhausted from disrespect and abuse. She doesn't go to college and works some very simple job. She is fine making minimum wage because she was raised by her mom that her father owes her and must pay her way.
They both live most of the time with us. This summer we took a break from them though: SD went to live with her mom, and my husband paid for an apartment for his son and son's gf, so that they live separately (having yet another person in the house (gf) made it just too loud and difficult to be in the house).
Now, provided their age, I am really not in the position of telling them how to live their lives, how to behave, etc. They are adults! My problem is that I feel guilty for not being able to build good relationships with them. I am tired of this feeling and sometimes I think to myself that maybe I should just leave them alone - as in them and their father. Let them live their life the way they want it, instead of getting in the middle of it with my feelings. I love my husband very much, but his kids wear me out!
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