Hello All,
I am back posting after about a 9 month absence. The wife and I are going through a bit of a "dry spell" at the moment, in that she is really not feeling the desire for sex at all recently (it is, on average about once a month or maybe slightly more, plus the odd BJ, maybe 1 a month, sometimes 2). In the last year or so, i can only think of maybe one time where she initiated. Putting it simply, she would be happy to have sex even less frequently than 1 x per month, and mostly only does it to keep me happy.
She orgasms probably 8 times out of 10, but I would say she REALLY enjoys it maybe 4/5 times out of 10. When she is really enjoying it, she normally orgasms through PIV. If she is willing, but not so into it, she usually orgasms through oral.
Anyway, I have completely gone away from the reason I came to post! A few months ago, during some discussions about sex, frequency, desire etc- despite me saying I would love it if she had the same (frequent) desires as me, she said she "would not blame me" if I found a lover. I did make it clear that I did not want it to come to this, and we do try our best to compromise our differing levels of desire (i.e. my HD, her LD).
Despite me not wanting to have a lover, I had to ask "and how would you feel about this, me sleeping with someone else?". Her response was that she would be happy for me that I am getting the (more frequent) sex that I crave, and that she would feel less under pressure, like she currently does. But she did say that she would worry that I "would enjoy the other persons company more than hers".
I have tried, time and time again to explain to her that I crave more sex with her because I love her, and sex helps with the emotional bond for me. She does sometimes give me oral at times when I am horny but she feels nothing- this is great, because she is sooooo good at it, but it does not stop me wanting to make love to her- by the next day, that aching desire comes back again as though the oral never took place.
I do also masturbate, on average once a week (at times I know sex and oral are both out of the question).
I would like to know if anybody else has ever been in this situation- whether they went ahead and slept with someone else, whether they developed a relationship with that person, or whether it was just sex etc etc. And did it improve your marriage, save it, make it worse, destroy it?
At times like this, although I dont want to do it, I must admit I find myself thinking about how it would work out, if I went ahead.
This last part may sound silly, but even if I did go ahead and "seek" a partner, I don't even know if I would get anywhere, as i am not exactly a stud, and never get chatted up or anything like that..
I am back posting after about a 9 month absence. The wife and I are going through a bit of a "dry spell" at the moment, in that she is really not feeling the desire for sex at all recently (it is, on average about once a month or maybe slightly more, plus the odd BJ, maybe 1 a month, sometimes 2). In the last year or so, i can only think of maybe one time where she initiated. Putting it simply, she would be happy to have sex even less frequently than 1 x per month, and mostly only does it to keep me happy.
She orgasms probably 8 times out of 10, but I would say she REALLY enjoys it maybe 4/5 times out of 10. When she is really enjoying it, she normally orgasms through PIV. If she is willing, but not so into it, she usually orgasms through oral.
Anyway, I have completely gone away from the reason I came to post! A few months ago, during some discussions about sex, frequency, desire etc- despite me saying I would love it if she had the same (frequent) desires as me, she said she "would not blame me" if I found a lover. I did make it clear that I did not want it to come to this, and we do try our best to compromise our differing levels of desire (i.e. my HD, her LD).
Despite me not wanting to have a lover, I had to ask "and how would you feel about this, me sleeping with someone else?". Her response was that she would be happy for me that I am getting the (more frequent) sex that I crave, and that she would feel less under pressure, like she currently does. But she did say that she would worry that I "would enjoy the other persons company more than hers".
I have tried, time and time again to explain to her that I crave more sex with her because I love her, and sex helps with the emotional bond for me. She does sometimes give me oral at times when I am horny but she feels nothing- this is great, because she is sooooo good at it, but it does not stop me wanting to make love to her- by the next day, that aching desire comes back again as though the oral never took place.
I do also masturbate, on average once a week (at times I know sex and oral are both out of the question).
I would like to know if anybody else has ever been in this situation- whether they went ahead and slept with someone else, whether they developed a relationship with that person, or whether it was just sex etc etc. And did it improve your marriage, save it, make it worse, destroy it?
At times like this, although I dont want to do it, I must admit I find myself thinking about how it would work out, if I went ahead.
This last part may sound silly, but even if I did go ahead and "seek" a partner, I don't even know if I would get anywhere, as i am not exactly a stud, and never get chatted up or anything like that..
Put the internet to work for you.
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