My husband of 10 1/2 years rarely showers or brushes his teeth. I make him do at least once on the weekend, but when he is at work I have no idea. He is in the military so he has PT throughout the week as well. Not so sure he showers after PT. There are quite a few problems with our marriage as it is right now, but the lack of hygiene bothers me so much I actually have high blood pressure because of it. We quit sleeping in the same bed a couple years ago when he got back off of one of the many deployments. I used the excuse that it was because of the cpap machine that constantly blows cold air on my neck. Which is actually true, so I do not know if everyone else would consider it an excuse. Also we have very different schedules and I am a super light sleeper. Anyway, I am so unattracted to him because of the hygiene issue I do not even want him to touch me. We would be considered in a sexless marriage at this point, only a few times this year. And that wa s only because I felt it was my wifely duty. We spent the first year of our marriage in different states so I did not know that he had a lack of hygiene until after we started to live together. I have talked to him about it and he shrugs and says I don't care or I don't know why I have a lack of hygiene. i have even talked to his parents about the problem asking if he has always been this way, they said once he got to be about 16 or so he started being that way. Also a little insider, he is a major introvert who only pretty much leaves the house for work and then he sits on his PC and games most of the time. like I said, we have a whole lot of other issues. i have been thinking about leaving him lately. i want to try marriage therapy. I have been going personally to try to work things out, but he needs to go as well. He finally said he would go, but it is up to me to find the therapist to go to. The therapist I have been going to asks why we are not having sex and when I te ll her she says she understands, but now I am going to have to explain all of this again and with him there. I am just feeling so trapped. has anyone else dealt with a situation like this and were you ever able to work it out and get some of the attraction back? And get the spouse to take care of their hygiene?
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