Hi
I've just joined the site and before you I bring the problems I've been having with my girlfriend. We've been together for a long time, 9 years to be precise. During 2 of those 9 years I lived in another place and could only visit her sporadically. Even so I never had to be concerned about infidelity or anything like that because she used to be a very solid partner. That's one of the things that really attracted me to her, she was bullet-proof when it came to trust.
Obviously, we've had our ups and down but I've always relied on the fact that we both understood the relationship as a pact which demanded total openness and respect.
Lately, however, things have changed in this chapter. Although, she tries to hide it, she's distant and shows no interest in me or the things I do. Worse still, she makes appointments without consulting with me, and relying on the fact that I'll be there to help her with what she needs. She also seems to prefer to spend more time with her friends than with me. We don't do nothing together and sadly for me sex is all but a sweet distant memory. This last bit is really messing me up because we used to have an incredible chemistry in bed and sex was fantastic. She claims she's really tired and that work issues are messing with her head. Her job is tragically stressful, that's a fact, but still I think that deep down inside the real problem is that she just doesn't feel the flame burning anymore. Despite all this, she still cooks great food, does stuff around the house and treats me kindly, which I appreciate...but then again it feels like she's doing it because she wants to over compensate for something...
I know I make her laugh, listen to her problems and advise her on them but sadly I'm beginning to think that's all she wants from me. She may be seeing me as a friend she has taken for granted and not her lover. Hell, I'm not even sure she'd mind me sleeping with other women...
We've had many fights over this and it gets better for a few days and then it all falls back to the old patterns.
I'm trying to save this relationship but I'm beginning to think it's a futile effort. Can this be reverted? Should I get my own separate place in order to create room for us both?
All help appreciated
I've just joined the site and before you I bring the problems I've been having with my girlfriend. We've been together for a long time, 9 years to be precise. During 2 of those 9 years I lived in another place and could only visit her sporadically. Even so I never had to be concerned about infidelity or anything like that because she used to be a very solid partner. That's one of the things that really attracted me to her, she was bullet-proof when it came to trust.
Obviously, we've had our ups and down but I've always relied on the fact that we both understood the relationship as a pact which demanded total openness and respect.
Lately, however, things have changed in this chapter. Although, she tries to hide it, she's distant and shows no interest in me or the things I do. Worse still, she makes appointments without consulting with me, and relying on the fact that I'll be there to help her with what she needs. She also seems to prefer to spend more time with her friends than with me. We don't do nothing together and sadly for me sex is all but a sweet distant memory. This last bit is really messing me up because we used to have an incredible chemistry in bed and sex was fantastic. She claims she's really tired and that work issues are messing with her head. Her job is tragically stressful, that's a fact, but still I think that deep down inside the real problem is that she just doesn't feel the flame burning anymore. Despite all this, she still cooks great food, does stuff around the house and treats me kindly, which I appreciate...but then again it feels like she's doing it because she wants to over compensate for something...
I know I make her laugh, listen to her problems and advise her on them but sadly I'm beginning to think that's all she wants from me. She may be seeing me as a friend she has taken for granted and not her lover. Hell, I'm not even sure she'd mind me sleeping with other women...
We've had many fights over this and it gets better for a few days and then it all falls back to the old patterns.
I'm trying to save this relationship but I'm beginning to think it's a futile effort. Can this be reverted? Should I get my own separate place in order to create room for us both?
All help appreciated
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