Hi everybody. First, sorry for my bad english.
I'd really appreciate some advice on my case. And I promise I'll update it here.
Long story short: We met very young at college and started dating 15 years ago, whith no pause. It was very good, like heaven to me. He sometimes asked to take a break but changed his mind when realized how much we loved each other.
We were first lovers and first everything... sex was a problem during long time but we improved a lot (long long story, maybe can tell in another post).
We couldn't be separated, because it hurted so much. So, he moved into my apartment 10 years ago. Since then, we moved to other 3 houses, bigger and closer to what we were intending to - initiate a family.
We decided to have a baby. He kept saying sometimes that wanted a break - but yet wanted to have a baby. We finally got married and had our little jewel - the most perfect, beautiful and funny baby god could give us. We were so happy.
He took really care when she was a newborn. I couldn't believe that my daughter had the best father of the world. We started planning our second baby to come soon, as we're not so young and for them to be friends having similar ages. My husband was really exciting about it.
So, when baby was about 3 months old... he started to change. Started lefting us alone at night to go out with friends. Initially I didn't care because I thought that could help in some way for him not to go crazy with the new life. Gradually he stopped doing everything for me and the baby.
One day, I realized he had changed. Things with us got weird... he started talking about some girl... until some day he told he wanted to move out and this time he WOULD do it.
I freaked out... tried to talk... until one day I discovered that he was already with this girl. I couldn't believe, because I knew him so well and he was the only person on the world I trusted that way. As I've found out, he moved out to his mom's. Baby was 6 months, I would go back to work soon - where he works too.
At first, I did what every woman do: begged, pleaded, cried, texted, emailed, phoned and nothing worked. He kept saying that I couldnt ask him not to be with her.
Then I tried to stop and go NC. Couldnt. But I could be firmer than the beggining.
I came back to work with new wardrobe, makeup, perfect hair, confident and with smile on my face. Hiding all my misery because I knew it would make him weaker. I've lost a lot of pounds and was (and still am) in my best outfit (size 4!). He hasn't told many people about it, but how could I know who knew what?
Although I was doing NC, I still stalked him and her on whatsapp. I know, that is not NC, I know that I would only hurt myself more - BUT I always prefer to know the truth, no matter how hard it is, because this way I can prepare myself. I knew that some day I would be tired of it and would let go if it was meant to be. This led to something very, very interesting - I could discover a standard! It may sound crazy, but yes it worked. So, 3 weeks after he had left I detected a change in the standard!!! I had the intuition he got sick of her already and 3 days later he showed at my door, just as I expectec. I was so sure he would show up so I was prepared... phisically astonishing, but not emotionally prepared. I think this ruined it all.
He begged to come back, said he loved me, he and the girl didnt have nothing emotional, he needed to know other sex and wanted to improve ours to be perfect for both of us. More: he thought of me everytime and only could have sex with her either drunk or with viagra (yes, i've found viagra in his drawer when found about the girl).
I was really angry and we fought a lot. He promised he would show that he has changed and wanted me to forgive him. He broke up with the girl. We didnt have sex at first... but some days later my heart was full of hope and I believed he wanted to work things out. We had sex. He then started changing again... until he told me he realized that doesnt love me, only wanted to go back for the wrong reasons... he wanted something different... all the same things again.
Again, I begged, pleaded...
Then I got again to NC, but this time I would stick to it.
It has 1 month since he left again (actually he never really came back) and 2 weeks of LC (cause of the baby).
When I ignore him, he texts asking how am I, shows up... I always with my poker face, smiling.
I found out he's seeing her again. Also found out that they knew each other for long time, but she was not attractive, overwheigt (something like 200 pounds). Now she's preety, had some surgeries to take off what left after lost pounds.
I'm stick to LC. And he reacts showing up in my desk to discuss things (baby stuff that could be discussed by text or email), told his sister I was astonishing some day and then he took all his clothes at a time, as if trying to catch my attention, maybe?
It was our anniversary recently and I was in NC.
Hey, I really need an advice... he is reacting? He is feeling? He's trying to forget me?
Will NC or LC work to make him feel the void?
The girl is not his type. They cant have conversations, she's dumb... Im funny, we have all those "our things".
Im not ready to move on, nor have time to do this, cause of the baby, work and stuff. I want my family back and i know he wants it too.
I may be wrong, but I'm really hopeful we'll still get back together.
I'd really appreciate some advice on my case. And I promise I'll update it here.
Long story short: We met very young at college and started dating 15 years ago, whith no pause. It was very good, like heaven to me. He sometimes asked to take a break but changed his mind when realized how much we loved each other.
We were first lovers and first everything... sex was a problem during long time but we improved a lot (long long story, maybe can tell in another post).
We couldn't be separated, because it hurted so much. So, he moved into my apartment 10 years ago. Since then, we moved to other 3 houses, bigger and closer to what we were intending to - initiate a family.
We decided to have a baby. He kept saying sometimes that wanted a break - but yet wanted to have a baby. We finally got married and had our little jewel - the most perfect, beautiful and funny baby god could give us. We were so happy.
He took really care when she was a newborn. I couldn't believe that my daughter had the best father of the world. We started planning our second baby to come soon, as we're not so young and for them to be friends having similar ages. My husband was really exciting about it.
So, when baby was about 3 months old... he started to change. Started lefting us alone at night to go out with friends. Initially I didn't care because I thought that could help in some way for him not to go crazy with the new life. Gradually he stopped doing everything for me and the baby.
One day, I realized he had changed. Things with us got weird... he started talking about some girl... until some day he told he wanted to move out and this time he WOULD do it.
I freaked out... tried to talk... until one day I discovered that he was already with this girl. I couldn't believe, because I knew him so well and he was the only person on the world I trusted that way. As I've found out, he moved out to his mom's. Baby was 6 months, I would go back to work soon - where he works too.
At first, I did what every woman do: begged, pleaded, cried, texted, emailed, phoned and nothing worked. He kept saying that I couldnt ask him not to be with her.
Then I tried to stop and go NC. Couldnt. But I could be firmer than the beggining.
I came back to work with new wardrobe, makeup, perfect hair, confident and with smile on my face. Hiding all my misery because I knew it would make him weaker. I've lost a lot of pounds and was (and still am) in my best outfit (size 4!). He hasn't told many people about it, but how could I know who knew what?
Although I was doing NC, I still stalked him and her on whatsapp. I know, that is not NC, I know that I would only hurt myself more - BUT I always prefer to know the truth, no matter how hard it is, because this way I can prepare myself. I knew that some day I would be tired of it and would let go if it was meant to be. This led to something very, very interesting - I could discover a standard! It may sound crazy, but yes it worked. So, 3 weeks after he had left I detected a change in the standard!!! I had the intuition he got sick of her already and 3 days later he showed at my door, just as I expectec. I was so sure he would show up so I was prepared... phisically astonishing, but not emotionally prepared. I think this ruined it all.
He begged to come back, said he loved me, he and the girl didnt have nothing emotional, he needed to know other sex and wanted to improve ours to be perfect for both of us. More: he thought of me everytime and only could have sex with her either drunk or with viagra (yes, i've found viagra in his drawer when found about the girl).
I was really angry and we fought a lot. He promised he would show that he has changed and wanted me to forgive him. He broke up with the girl. We didnt have sex at first... but some days later my heart was full of hope and I believed he wanted to work things out. We had sex. He then started changing again... until he told me he realized that doesnt love me, only wanted to go back for the wrong reasons... he wanted something different... all the same things again.
Again, I begged, pleaded...
Then I got again to NC, but this time I would stick to it.
It has 1 month since he left again (actually he never really came back) and 2 weeks of LC (cause of the baby).
When I ignore him, he texts asking how am I, shows up... I always with my poker face, smiling.
I found out he's seeing her again. Also found out that they knew each other for long time, but she was not attractive, overwheigt (something like 200 pounds). Now she's preety, had some surgeries to take off what left after lost pounds.
I'm stick to LC. And he reacts showing up in my desk to discuss things (baby stuff that could be discussed by text or email), told his sister I was astonishing some day and then he took all his clothes at a time, as if trying to catch my attention, maybe?
It was our anniversary recently and I was in NC.
Hey, I really need an advice... he is reacting? He is feeling? He's trying to forget me?
Will NC or LC work to make him feel the void?
The girl is not his type. They cant have conversations, she's dumb... Im funny, we have all those "our things".
Im not ready to move on, nor have time to do this, cause of the baby, work and stuff. I want my family back and i know he wants it too.
I may be wrong, but I'm really hopeful we'll still get back together.
Put the internet to work for you.
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