Background story:
My wife and i have been married for 10 years. we married young i was 21 and she was 25. Been through military life, deployments and now have 2 children together and I also raised her daughter which was 5 when i met her (now 15). I cheated on my wife (then girlfriend) in the very beginning before we got married and she took me back. From there the roller coaster began. She is a very jealous person and I am a very patient person. So i endured jealousy, rage, accusations for the entire 10 years we were together. Her jealousy even leaked over onto her family members and we have had heated spats over whether or not i was sleeping with her sister, or niece, or cousin. These incidents took a toll on me and i became distant from both her and her family and it could be sensed by everyone. Our last altercation ended this past may when i finally graduated from college and the whole happy celebration went sour when she once again thought i was screwing with her niece (3rd altercation wit h this one). I because so enraged i wielded a machete in my own home and was kicking holes in doors (not my character). Immediately following this incident another woman began showing interest in me at work. Being so engulfed in the fact that i hated my wife and the life i had been living that i engaged with the woman. The woman turns out to be a very aggressive individual and we began a swift destructive path. I began regretting my life with my wife and began listening to all the fluff from the other woman. don't get me wrong i did fall in love with her but it was all too quick. We were talking about the future with her kids (she has 2) and my kids and living together and...forever (all within one month. I still loved my wife and was not completely detached so i dumped the girl and went back to my wife. But when i returned i didn't feel things with her like I remembered, i attributed it to the fact i was with another woman. i lasted about 2 weeks before I began speaking to the other woman again. My wife found out and I left my home and kids and spent the next 2 months with the other woman. I became intermittently depressed while with the other woman partly because of my kids and partly because of my wife. I would secretly text my wife about random things hoping for conversation. eventually i broke and went back to my wife and dumped the woman for a second time. Again about 2 weeks went by before I couldn't help myself and spoke to the other woman. just to speak. speaking turned into other things and now back in the situation again where i'm with my wife but want to be with the other woman.
Basically my feelings towards my wife are strong but not strong enough. The other woman gives me things my wife doesn't. I feel passionate with the other woman, I actually get butterflies when around her or kissing her. I engage in fruitful conversation with her. We have more in common than my wife. My feelings for my wife are more learned than chemistry. We started young when we both didn't know what we wanted in life. My wife just satisfies me emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, etc just enough but the other woman is intense with feelings so strong it's unbearable to stay away. But i'm not oblivious to the reality that this all may be the "newly wed" feeling when you first meet someone. I just don't know what to do with it all. any advise at all. any questions into the matter i will answer let me know
My wife and i have been married for 10 years. we married young i was 21 and she was 25. Been through military life, deployments and now have 2 children together and I also raised her daughter which was 5 when i met her (now 15). I cheated on my wife (then girlfriend) in the very beginning before we got married and she took me back. From there the roller coaster began. She is a very jealous person and I am a very patient person. So i endured jealousy, rage, accusations for the entire 10 years we were together. Her jealousy even leaked over onto her family members and we have had heated spats over whether or not i was sleeping with her sister, or niece, or cousin. These incidents took a toll on me and i became distant from both her and her family and it could be sensed by everyone. Our last altercation ended this past may when i finally graduated from college and the whole happy celebration went sour when she once again thought i was screwing with her niece (3rd altercation wit h this one). I because so enraged i wielded a machete in my own home and was kicking holes in doors (not my character). Immediately following this incident another woman began showing interest in me at work. Being so engulfed in the fact that i hated my wife and the life i had been living that i engaged with the woman. The woman turns out to be a very aggressive individual and we began a swift destructive path. I began regretting my life with my wife and began listening to all the fluff from the other woman. don't get me wrong i did fall in love with her but it was all too quick. We were talking about the future with her kids (she has 2) and my kids and living together and...forever (all within one month. I still loved my wife and was not completely detached so i dumped the girl and went back to my wife. But when i returned i didn't feel things with her like I remembered, i attributed it to the fact i was with another woman. i lasted about 2 weeks before I began speaking to the other woman again. My wife found out and I left my home and kids and spent the next 2 months with the other woman. I became intermittently depressed while with the other woman partly because of my kids and partly because of my wife. I would secretly text my wife about random things hoping for conversation. eventually i broke and went back to my wife and dumped the woman for a second time. Again about 2 weeks went by before I couldn't help myself and spoke to the other woman. just to speak. speaking turned into other things and now back in the situation again where i'm with my wife but want to be with the other woman.
Basically my feelings towards my wife are strong but not strong enough. The other woman gives me things my wife doesn't. I feel passionate with the other woman, I actually get butterflies when around her or kissing her. I engage in fruitful conversation with her. We have more in common than my wife. My feelings for my wife are more learned than chemistry. We started young when we both didn't know what we wanted in life. My wife just satisfies me emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, etc just enough but the other woman is intense with feelings so strong it's unbearable to stay away. But i'm not oblivious to the reality that this all may be the "newly wed" feeling when you first meet someone. I just don't know what to do with it all. any advise at all. any questions into the matter i will answer let me know
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