I would first like to say hello to everyone and talk to some people possibly going through similar circumstances. I would like a unbiased opinion.
My wife and I have been married for about 5 years, and we have a beautiful son together who means the world to me. However, my wife and I never seem to get along together around her friends she is chatty and happy, around me she is aloof disinterested and plain old not happy. I guess the problems have gotten worse since we have moved from Florida to Kansas, it was a new place and she didn't have any friends, but eventually she made some and things got slightly better until she started hanging out with them pretty much everyday. I respectfully told her I would like more help around the house since I work full time, and she is a stay at home mother and also attends school part time. I would like to give a couple instances of things that drive me crazy. Earlier in the year she visited florida for about a week, which I was fine with since she hasn't visited since we moved (about a year). She is supposed to attend her brothers Army graduation in June and she told me about this how ever, about 3 weeks ago she tells me she is going to florida before hand turning a 1 week trip into an almost 3 week trip. I wasn't asked how I felt or anything it was basically just hey I'm doing this. I told her how I felt about not being included in the decision making process, Isn't that a part of marriage compromise and making larger decisions together as a couple?
Well when I try to tell her how it makes me feel she will be dismissive / play on her phone and basically just listen to what I have to say she doesn't say I understand it makes sense or anything it's just her arguing why she should be able to do it "I'm my own person and I make my own decisions" I don't feel like I'm in a marriage I feel like I'm married to a woman who just does whatever she wants. We've been to counseling ; however, I don't think it's helping still the same old stuff she wants to do what she wants to do, and regardless of how I feel or how much sense it makes logically it still doesn't matter.
5 or so months ago she asked for more help around the house to be "Equal" and I started helping a LOT more to the point where I pretty much do everything , she herself has admitted that I do the lions share of the house work on top of having a full-time job. I don't know what to do I'm at my wits end I've tried to tell her this isn't how a marriage is supposed to work we are supposed to talk about things and make decisions together I basically don't want my son to be gone for almost 3 weeks, and on top of that we really don't have the money to go, so she gets a credit card and says I have a credit card so I can afford to go. It really just doesn't make sense to me Logically it isn't a good idea money wise/ for me I don't want my son gone that long. These are just a few of our problems I could write a laundry list of things. I just don't think she really cares I express how I feel and she always ends up doing what she wants anyway regardless. My brain says obviously she doesn' t care I pay the bills I do most of the housework and I always have to bend to what she wants, and because of my reasons I don't want her to go she calls me manipulative and that I want to "Control" her. I've supported everything she has wanted to do I've made sacrifices to my sleep staying up half the day to watch our son (I'm on mid-shift) while she was going to school nearly everyday. I feel like I'm giving it everything I have and I'm not getting anything in return. Where do I go from here?
Sorry for the wall of text, really just overwhelmed I want it to work, but I don't think she will ever stop being so selfish. I really don't want my son to grow up without a constant father figure.
Thanks for reading.
My wife and I have been married for about 5 years, and we have a beautiful son together who means the world to me. However, my wife and I never seem to get along together around her friends she is chatty and happy, around me she is aloof disinterested and plain old not happy. I guess the problems have gotten worse since we have moved from Florida to Kansas, it was a new place and she didn't have any friends, but eventually she made some and things got slightly better until she started hanging out with them pretty much everyday. I respectfully told her I would like more help around the house since I work full time, and she is a stay at home mother and also attends school part time. I would like to give a couple instances of things that drive me crazy. Earlier in the year she visited florida for about a week, which I was fine with since she hasn't visited since we moved (about a year). She is supposed to attend her brothers Army graduation in June and she told me about this how ever, about 3 weeks ago she tells me she is going to florida before hand turning a 1 week trip into an almost 3 week trip. I wasn't asked how I felt or anything it was basically just hey I'm doing this. I told her how I felt about not being included in the decision making process, Isn't that a part of marriage compromise and making larger decisions together as a couple?
Well when I try to tell her how it makes me feel she will be dismissive / play on her phone and basically just listen to what I have to say she doesn't say I understand it makes sense or anything it's just her arguing why she should be able to do it "I'm my own person and I make my own decisions" I don't feel like I'm in a marriage I feel like I'm married to a woman who just does whatever she wants. We've been to counseling ; however, I don't think it's helping still the same old stuff she wants to do what she wants to do, and regardless of how I feel or how much sense it makes logically it still doesn't matter.
5 or so months ago she asked for more help around the house to be "Equal" and I started helping a LOT more to the point where I pretty much do everything , she herself has admitted that I do the lions share of the house work on top of having a full-time job. I don't know what to do I'm at my wits end I've tried to tell her this isn't how a marriage is supposed to work we are supposed to talk about things and make decisions together I basically don't want my son to be gone for almost 3 weeks, and on top of that we really don't have the money to go, so she gets a credit card and says I have a credit card so I can afford to go. It really just doesn't make sense to me Logically it isn't a good idea money wise/ for me I don't want my son gone that long. These are just a few of our problems I could write a laundry list of things. I just don't think she really cares I express how I feel and she always ends up doing what she wants anyway regardless. My brain says obviously she doesn' t care I pay the bills I do most of the housework and I always have to bend to what she wants, and because of my reasons I don't want her to go she calls me manipulative and that I want to "Control" her. I've supported everything she has wanted to do I've made sacrifices to my sleep staying up half the day to watch our son (I'm on mid-shift) while she was going to school nearly everyday. I feel like I'm giving it everything I have and I'm not getting anything in return. Where do I go from here?
Sorry for the wall of text, really just overwhelmed I want it to work, but I don't think she will ever stop being so selfish. I really don't want my son to grow up without a constant father figure.
Thanks for reading.
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