My husband and I both decided to try an open marriage. It doesn't work, the other man and I feel in love. My husband and I seperated due to him losing his temper and scaring both me and our two children. However, I agreed to not speak to the other guy. I haven't spoken to him in over four months but I think about him nonstop, almost obessively. The other man asked me to leave my husband and he would leave his wife and make a go of it together. I said I couldn't, that I owed it to my husband and my children to stay in our marriage and improve on what was broken. Because there were obviously issues because we decided to see other people, if we were happy together, then we wouldn't have wanted to do that, right?
Anyway, fast foward to today, four months later. My husband is doing everything right. We are both going to individual counseling and marriage counseling. He's trying his hardest to do whatever I ask him to do to fill my 'Love" Tank, and I think I'm doing the same for him. I love him very much. And I love my children more than anything. We pretty much have it all, we have great jobs, a supportive family, wonderful friends, a new house, and each other. Yet, here I am still wondering about the other guy, how he is, is he thinking of me, is his wife treating him well, on and on. It's like a broken record. I just ruminate and ruminate and it makes me feel miserable when I should be happy for everything I have. I think about the what if's, had I went with him. Would my life be happier? No probably not, I would then be dealing with the guilt of leaving my family.
It's a mess, I wish we would never have gotten involved in this type of lifestyle. We have stopped and it's only the two of us, well that and my own mind tormenting me. My counseler says that I have to just think about something else when those thoughts of the other guy pops into my mind, but that doesn't seem to help.
I think I decided to post this online so I can hear other people's thoughts, who don't know me.
Anyway, fast foward to today, four months later. My husband is doing everything right. We are both going to individual counseling and marriage counseling. He's trying his hardest to do whatever I ask him to do to fill my 'Love" Tank, and I think I'm doing the same for him. I love him very much. And I love my children more than anything. We pretty much have it all, we have great jobs, a supportive family, wonderful friends, a new house, and each other. Yet, here I am still wondering about the other guy, how he is, is he thinking of me, is his wife treating him well, on and on. It's like a broken record. I just ruminate and ruminate and it makes me feel miserable when I should be happy for everything I have. I think about the what if's, had I went with him. Would my life be happier? No probably not, I would then be dealing with the guilt of leaving my family.
It's a mess, I wish we would never have gotten involved in this type of lifestyle. We have stopped and it's only the two of us, well that and my own mind tormenting me. My counseler says that I have to just think about something else when those thoughts of the other guy pops into my mind, but that doesn't seem to help.
I think I decided to post this online so I can hear other people's thoughts, who don't know me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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