My husband and I have been together since he was 17 and I was 14. We have 5 children. The oldest is 36 youngest is 27. We have had our 9 year old Granddaughter for a year and get no help from her parents. I had weight loss surgery in June 2009. Things went horribly wrong and I almost died. It took 6 months to fix everything and recovery. 6 months after that I was diagnosed with breast cancer! The time prior to the cancer was WONDERUL! He took pics of me all the time. I had lost almost 150 pounds. When I started loosing my hair and decided to shave my head he did too. So did 2 of my son-in-laws and my grandson. 6 months after chemo I found out he had been having an affair. When I confronted him he left! I was getting ready to go through the biggest surgery of my life. 8 hours of spine surgery! My spine had no fat or muscle to hold it up so the scoliosis ran rampant! He bounced back and forth from her to me for 3 years. He finally came home and said this is where he wanted to be. We had little time before we got our granddaughter. We talked repeatedly about whether we needed "our" time or did we keep her because I had been the only stability in her life and she worships him! So I am raising her. Recently we have been becoming very distant. He never has been one to work like he should and I have always been the big money maker. I went from 50k+ per year to $18k on disability. He got into trouble with the police while he was with her and was unable to find a decent job because everyone ws doing background checks so the only job he could get paid less than I make on disability! Even then knowing he needed to work every hour he could he was always complaining about one ailment or another. This is what caused me to become distant. We are on the verge of losing our house! And the granddaughter needs so much! Let me fill in that he has had 3 prior short term affairs. I got a text today from his (so I thought) ex-mistress sayig the y were still talking and he was telling her things about me that were absolutely untrue! She said she would start forwarding his messages to me for proof! All I do is cry and try to decide how to tell my granddaughter that he will be leaving and can I afford to take care of her!! Their really is nowhere else for her to go and she has been through so much in her short 9 years! The ***** said he was only with me because of our granddaughter. I said then why does he hold me and tell me he loves me all the time?! Then she sent me a text telling me exactly what I was doing so I know he contacted her! I'm so torn! I love him but it is diminishing and I don't want to keep living like this! We used to be so close but he has had so many mid-life crises and I can't deal with anymore! I turned 50 in March and I am a good looking woman but he is really all I have ever know and I'm so scared to start over with someone new. I have always been very independent but I want to be loved the wa y a good woman should be loved! I wish it was him but I don't know how to bring the good parts of our life back! I am so bitter! I don't even know if I want to try anymore! I want him to chase me! How do I make that happen and should I even bother?! There is so much more but this has already become a book!
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