-Married 19 years, been together for 24 years
-I have never dated or been with anyone else
-2 children, 13 and 18 (leaving for military)
Over the last 6 months I have been finding myself more and more distant. We have not slept in the same room for about 2 years now. Sex life is horrible, I don't want it. I feel like it is a chore and I don't feel attracted to him.
While we both work, I am the breadwinner and contribute 2/3rds to his 1/3rd on monthly bills. However, anything beyond that (kids needs, school needs, family gifts, holidays, home improvements, vacations, etc) all comes from me or it does not happen. Any extra money on his end (OT or side jobs) goes towards his activities or his car.
I have become more adventurous since getting older, working out, snorkeling, Ziplining, sky diving, etc none of which he would do.
Household chores: I do it all! Sure, in the winter he may shovel the 3-4 times we get snow and he may work on my car once a year but that is it. I do everything. It is also on me to run the kids everywhere they need to be.
When it comes to going places I tend to look for others to go with. I have no desire to hang out with him. We dont have anything in common. I like movies, shopping, casinos. He likes casinos (if Im paying) and he likes racing which I do not. We both like to travel but on my dime.
I look at my house in disgust and it disgusts me even more that the only way to make it better is if "I" pay for it but this cannot happen until I am done paying for other things such as taxes, furnace, etc.
I have gotten to the point where I just avoid him and this week I decided to no longer make his lunches, vacuum his room, dump his trash cans, and have started to put his clean laundry in a separate basket for him to bring up and put it away.
I think I could handle the money differences if I did not have to do everything in the house too. If I complain, he will just do his own dish, fork, etc, or his own laundry and so on. he does not see the big picture. He constantly says he loves me and touches me and I dont like it. I don't think he feels the same as me at all.
However, with all this said, are these even my real issues or is it that I am just no longer in love. Of course I will always have love for him but I can't stop imagining myself being single and raising my teen alone. I have no desire to be with anyone else nor have I strayed emotionally or physically. Everyone from the outside looking in would be SHOCKED to hear my feelings.
I need advice...anyone in the same or similiar boat?
-I have never dated or been with anyone else
-2 children, 13 and 18 (leaving for military)
Over the last 6 months I have been finding myself more and more distant. We have not slept in the same room for about 2 years now. Sex life is horrible, I don't want it. I feel like it is a chore and I don't feel attracted to him.
While we both work, I am the breadwinner and contribute 2/3rds to his 1/3rd on monthly bills. However, anything beyond that (kids needs, school needs, family gifts, holidays, home improvements, vacations, etc) all comes from me or it does not happen. Any extra money on his end (OT or side jobs) goes towards his activities or his car.
I have become more adventurous since getting older, working out, snorkeling, Ziplining, sky diving, etc none of which he would do.
Household chores: I do it all! Sure, in the winter he may shovel the 3-4 times we get snow and he may work on my car once a year but that is it. I do everything. It is also on me to run the kids everywhere they need to be.
When it comes to going places I tend to look for others to go with. I have no desire to hang out with him. We dont have anything in common. I like movies, shopping, casinos. He likes casinos (if Im paying) and he likes racing which I do not. We both like to travel but on my dime.
I look at my house in disgust and it disgusts me even more that the only way to make it better is if "I" pay for it but this cannot happen until I am done paying for other things such as taxes, furnace, etc.
I have gotten to the point where I just avoid him and this week I decided to no longer make his lunches, vacuum his room, dump his trash cans, and have started to put his clean laundry in a separate basket for him to bring up and put it away.
I think I could handle the money differences if I did not have to do everything in the house too. If I complain, he will just do his own dish, fork, etc, or his own laundry and so on. he does not see the big picture. He constantly says he loves me and touches me and I dont like it. I don't think he feels the same as me at all.
However, with all this said, are these even my real issues or is it that I am just no longer in love. Of course I will always have love for him but I can't stop imagining myself being single and raising my teen alone. I have no desire to be with anyone else nor have I strayed emotionally or physically. Everyone from the outside looking in would be SHOCKED to hear my feelings.
I need advice...anyone in the same or similiar boat?
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