Hi Everyone,
Thanks for reading. I would really like to know what you would do in my shoes. Am I being overly sensitive?
My H and I have been married for 17 years with no children, and we have been having a lot of issues, mostly communication issues. I feel like I should have divorced him long ago, but I don't seem to have the guts.
My husband does not like wearing his wedding band saying it is uncomfortable. It is important to me as it is a symbol of commitment. I got really upset numerous times over this. There was a stretch of few years when we did not wear rings. He took his off, and I took mine off cause I was mad at him. Childish, I know, but I was not sure what else to do. At some point I gave up. I don't wear jewelry, but I liked wearing my wedding ring.
Then about 1 year ago, he graduated with an engineering degree and got an engineering ring. Then I caught him wearing his engineering ring at work, but taking it off before getting home. He was not wearing his wedding ring at the time. I got very upset when I saw it as I felt he was lying to me, and "ring is uncomfortable" is an excuse. We had a huge fight over that.
So a few months ago we had a very nice romantic dinner, and we decided to put the rings issue behind us and wear the rings from then on. All was good. Then yesterday, he came to pick me up from work, and I noticed he was only wearing his engineering ring again. I got very upset. I have asked why, but he gave me a blank stare and said he didn't know why. I got out of the car, and he drove away. We talked in a few hours when I got home. He didn't apologized or anything, but he just said that he thought we were through with this issue. That hurt me even more. When he does something that is hurtful, he usually just sits there without saying anything or leaves the room to go do something else.
I am honestly ready to divorce over this. We have many communication issues. And I just feel like this was the last drop. He hides his feelings and emotions. When he does talk, he tends to be very vague, and I continuously misunderstand him. He also tends to blame me (or other people). Yesterday he acted like he was the one who was hurt. He said I made him defensive, and he was looking for ways to defend himself instead of comforting me when I was hurt. He said that he hated that he did that, but he didn't know why he did that. I felt like the whole thing was turned around to be made my fault.
I am very confused now. I told him how important him wearing the ring was to me. He still took it off saying it was uncomfortable, then made me feel like it was my fault. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Would you make a big deal out of this situation?
Thanks for reading. I would really like to know what you would do in my shoes. Am I being overly sensitive?
My H and I have been married for 17 years with no children, and we have been having a lot of issues, mostly communication issues. I feel like I should have divorced him long ago, but I don't seem to have the guts.
My husband does not like wearing his wedding band saying it is uncomfortable. It is important to me as it is a symbol of commitment. I got really upset numerous times over this. There was a stretch of few years when we did not wear rings. He took his off, and I took mine off cause I was mad at him. Childish, I know, but I was not sure what else to do. At some point I gave up. I don't wear jewelry, but I liked wearing my wedding ring.
Then about 1 year ago, he graduated with an engineering degree and got an engineering ring. Then I caught him wearing his engineering ring at work, but taking it off before getting home. He was not wearing his wedding ring at the time. I got very upset when I saw it as I felt he was lying to me, and "ring is uncomfortable" is an excuse. We had a huge fight over that.
So a few months ago we had a very nice romantic dinner, and we decided to put the rings issue behind us and wear the rings from then on. All was good. Then yesterday, he came to pick me up from work, and I noticed he was only wearing his engineering ring again. I got very upset. I have asked why, but he gave me a blank stare and said he didn't know why. I got out of the car, and he drove away. We talked in a few hours when I got home. He didn't apologized or anything, but he just said that he thought we were through with this issue. That hurt me even more. When he does something that is hurtful, he usually just sits there without saying anything or leaves the room to go do something else.
I am honestly ready to divorce over this. We have many communication issues. And I just feel like this was the last drop. He hides his feelings and emotions. When he does talk, he tends to be very vague, and I continuously misunderstand him. He also tends to blame me (or other people). Yesterday he acted like he was the one who was hurt. He said I made him defensive, and he was looking for ways to defend himself instead of comforting me when I was hurt. He said that he hated that he did that, but he didn't know why he did that. I felt like the whole thing was turned around to be made my fault.
I am very confused now. I told him how important him wearing the ring was to me. He still took it off saying it was uncomfortable, then made me feel like it was my fault. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Would you make a big deal out of this situation?
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