I'm feeling
underappreciated and neglected.
*When it comes to my husband picking up his clothes I don't matter, or made to feel special after giving birth he stayed over but just played on his phone on the couch, whilst I was looking at him longingly from the hospital bed.
*I still haven't received any flowers or card for it. Yes, he made a meal for mother's day but that was expected. If anything after both deliveries he was looking at personal ads a short time after and he still does that's why he gets random emails from strangers which he still answers and it hurts me to no end.*
When it comes to me I can't spend a little bit on my kids because I would like to, so I don't matter. He doesn't realize that when I say yes to him buying an electronic device it's because he matters to me, he has two jobs and I want him to feel like he gets something for working so hard.I seldom use the ps3 or Wii I'm busy with the kids and don't have the head for it anyway. I always think that when we purchase an item like that there's going to be a chance for me to buy something for the kids or the house that I want because if you can afford something like that it makes sense there should have been enough for everyone, but I always get that wrong and assume I can buy at least something inexpensive for the rest of us and I get in *trouble for it every single time.But when it comes to that he always say wait until next time but he never tells me when next time is by that time he wants to buy something again and if he were to ask me if there's something I want I wouldn't have the faintest idea anymore, he doesn't care to remember what I wanted all those times before anyway. Like he promises he will do a lot of things but he doesn't have time (but has the time to spend about an hour every night on his phone and longer on his days off or he plays video games)
I don't buy jewelry, make up, clothes I don't get my hair dyed, I don't do my nails all the kids clothes are hand-me-downs, I don't remember when was the last time I got something for them just because, not because we were going somewhere. I buy most of our things from the dollar store.We had welfare because of me, food stamps! I don't remember when was the last time I spent more than on sandwich makings, tuna,hot dogs, eggs and cup noodles, I do this all for him to save money and keep his sanity.
He wants all this reassurance and attention from me I stop doing the things that annoy him of me to the best of my ability when he's home.
I only get attention from him when he wants sex, that's the only time HE looks for me.I'm always the one looking for his company: I sit next to him on the couch, I touch a leg a shoulder, I like to hug him to kiss him to touch his face. When he gets home from work I drop anything I'm doing to go greet him. He accepts the kiss and does one of three things: takes a shower, sits down and gets on his phone or goes to bed and goes on his phone, a lot of the times I just sit there and stare at him to see if he notices...He doesn't 75% of the time or I talk to him and he doesn't even look at me, he listens but he doesn't bother to acknowledge I am in the same room.
This morning I touched his hand while he was on the phone and he didn't even look at me so I asked him what was wrong and he said he had wanted sex but I told him I was on my period. Then he checked the bank account and questioned me about my spending again, that just upset me (sex and money that's it) I was told it was ok to get stuff for our daughter's birthday party,I got some things plus some toiletries but he had an issue with that. He had told me it was ok as long as I told him what I was spending the money on, obviously it wasn't. It is so confusing.When he texts me he says he is ok with making all the sacrifices so we are ok but I find it so insulting that he doesn't see the sacrifices that I make when he says he makes all the sacrifices.
He wants his family and house taken care of financially. He has the money tied up in repairs for the house to later refinance and lower the mortgage payments but I can't help but feel we are not priorities, it's his own peace of mind he takes care of , he works hard because HE feels better, but I'm left with raising our kids by myself and taking care of the house mostly by myself no breaks or loving gestures.*
It doesn't help that I have Asperger's and I mean what l say and I say what I mean and I take things literally and care too much. *I would love that done for me too.
If you read this long post thanks!
underappreciated and neglected.
*When it comes to my husband picking up his clothes I don't matter, or made to feel special after giving birth he stayed over but just played on his phone on the couch, whilst I was looking at him longingly from the hospital bed.
*I still haven't received any flowers or card for it. Yes, he made a meal for mother's day but that was expected. If anything after both deliveries he was looking at personal ads a short time after and he still does that's why he gets random emails from strangers which he still answers and it hurts me to no end.*
When it comes to me I can't spend a little bit on my kids because I would like to, so I don't matter. He doesn't realize that when I say yes to him buying an electronic device it's because he matters to me, he has two jobs and I want him to feel like he gets something for working so hard.I seldom use the ps3 or Wii I'm busy with the kids and don't have the head for it anyway. I always think that when we purchase an item like that there's going to be a chance for me to buy something for the kids or the house that I want because if you can afford something like that it makes sense there should have been enough for everyone, but I always get that wrong and assume I can buy at least something inexpensive for the rest of us and I get in *trouble for it every single time.But when it comes to that he always say wait until next time but he never tells me when next time is by that time he wants to buy something again and if he were to ask me if there's something I want I wouldn't have the faintest idea anymore, he doesn't care to remember what I wanted all those times before anyway. Like he promises he will do a lot of things but he doesn't have time (but has the time to spend about an hour every night on his phone and longer on his days off or he plays video games)
I don't buy jewelry, make up, clothes I don't get my hair dyed, I don't do my nails all the kids clothes are hand-me-downs, I don't remember when was the last time I got something for them just because, not because we were going somewhere. I buy most of our things from the dollar store.We had welfare because of me, food stamps! I don't remember when was the last time I spent more than on sandwich makings, tuna,hot dogs, eggs and cup noodles, I do this all for him to save money and keep his sanity.
He wants all this reassurance and attention from me I stop doing the things that annoy him of me to the best of my ability when he's home.
I only get attention from him when he wants sex, that's the only time HE looks for me.I'm always the one looking for his company: I sit next to him on the couch, I touch a leg a shoulder, I like to hug him to kiss him to touch his face. When he gets home from work I drop anything I'm doing to go greet him. He accepts the kiss and does one of three things: takes a shower, sits down and gets on his phone or goes to bed and goes on his phone, a lot of the times I just sit there and stare at him to see if he notices...He doesn't 75% of the time or I talk to him and he doesn't even look at me, he listens but he doesn't bother to acknowledge I am in the same room.
This morning I touched his hand while he was on the phone and he didn't even look at me so I asked him what was wrong and he said he had wanted sex but I told him I was on my period. Then he checked the bank account and questioned me about my spending again, that just upset me (sex and money that's it) I was told it was ok to get stuff for our daughter's birthday party,I got some things plus some toiletries but he had an issue with that. He had told me it was ok as long as I told him what I was spending the money on, obviously it wasn't. It is so confusing.When he texts me he says he is ok with making all the sacrifices so we are ok but I find it so insulting that he doesn't see the sacrifices that I make when he says he makes all the sacrifices.
He wants his family and house taken care of financially. He has the money tied up in repairs for the house to later refinance and lower the mortgage payments but I can't help but feel we are not priorities, it's his own peace of mind he takes care of , he works hard because HE feels better, but I'm left with raising our kids by myself and taking care of the house mostly by myself no breaks or loving gestures.*
It doesn't help that I have Asperger's and I mean what l say and I say what I mean and I take things literally and care too much. *I would love that done for me too.
If you read this long post thanks!
Put the internet to work for you.
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