Hi guys and gals,
An earlier post I made to this forum has me taking a step back and re-evaluating a few things. But I have one issue that I cannot exactly understand, and I don't know if it's something to bring up or ignore.
My wife procrastinates in the short term. I'll give a few examples...
Example 1
The other day my wife told me our daughter needed a bath. This was at 7:30pm. I have a once a week obligation that I was preparing for and began at 9:30pm. I needed to get my prep work done and get thew kids in bed before 8:30 to be safe. So I told her I'd need a few minutes to finish my thought. She was frustrated and said "OK, I'll give her a bath, but you owe me!" Now, we didn't have any prearranged agreement that I'd give her a bath, so I didn't really understand why she was upset, but OK. The thing is, she didn't give her a bath. She just procrastinated. I finished my work 15m later and realized my wife wasn't getting the tub ready. Again, I really needed to ensure the kids were in bed for my obligation, so I ran upstairs, started the tub, went back down and got our daughter and gave her a tub. If I didn't do anythign, she would've been awake for another few hours.
Example 2
My wife said we needed to make dinner. She said one of us needs to watch the kids while the other makes dinner. So I grabbed the kids and we went outside. This was 5:00pm. We came in half an hour later and dinner wasn't started. The chicken was sitting on the counter. We went into the living room and came back at 6pm and she was just starting to prep. I brought the kids back into the living room and came back a half an hour later and it still wasn't in the oven. I asked her why it was taking so long, and pointed out she's been cooking for an hour and a half and nothing is even in the oven. She got defensive and said she hadn't been cooking that long. I didn't know what to say, I knew she had been cooking for that long. She got mad at me for suggesting... I'm actually not sure what I was suggesting.
Example 3
Holidays, we are in charge of dinner. My sister in law helps cook. My wife complains about all of the work. She complains and complains, but never actually does any work. So my sister in law and I end up prepping and cooking everything, all the while she's complaining about the work. We're afraid of not having any food.
So the actual holiday day, unless we are putting the stuff in the ovens ourselves, it doesn't get done. I cannot ask her if it's time to put the turkey in, I have to tell her. Otherwise, she's just not in a rush. At the end of it all, she still complains about how difficult all of the work was.
So I don't know if this is an issue I have, or if it is a symptom of an issue she may have. Am I just impatient? Sometimes, the oven will be preheating for 4 hours. I'll ask her if I should turn it off and she says, no I'm preheating it.
So is this a typical issue? I don't know how to approach the subject as she always thinks I'm criticizing her. It's hard to Google "Is there anything wrong with doing everything very slowly?"
An earlier post I made to this forum has me taking a step back and re-evaluating a few things. But I have one issue that I cannot exactly understand, and I don't know if it's something to bring up or ignore.
My wife procrastinates in the short term. I'll give a few examples...
Example 1
The other day my wife told me our daughter needed a bath. This was at 7:30pm. I have a once a week obligation that I was preparing for and began at 9:30pm. I needed to get my prep work done and get thew kids in bed before 8:30 to be safe. So I told her I'd need a few minutes to finish my thought. She was frustrated and said "OK, I'll give her a bath, but you owe me!" Now, we didn't have any prearranged agreement that I'd give her a bath, so I didn't really understand why she was upset, but OK. The thing is, she didn't give her a bath. She just procrastinated. I finished my work 15m later and realized my wife wasn't getting the tub ready. Again, I really needed to ensure the kids were in bed for my obligation, so I ran upstairs, started the tub, went back down and got our daughter and gave her a tub. If I didn't do anythign, she would've been awake for another few hours.
Example 2
My wife said we needed to make dinner. She said one of us needs to watch the kids while the other makes dinner. So I grabbed the kids and we went outside. This was 5:00pm. We came in half an hour later and dinner wasn't started. The chicken was sitting on the counter. We went into the living room and came back at 6pm and she was just starting to prep. I brought the kids back into the living room and came back a half an hour later and it still wasn't in the oven. I asked her why it was taking so long, and pointed out she's been cooking for an hour and a half and nothing is even in the oven. She got defensive and said she hadn't been cooking that long. I didn't know what to say, I knew she had been cooking for that long. She got mad at me for suggesting... I'm actually not sure what I was suggesting.
Example 3
Holidays, we are in charge of dinner. My sister in law helps cook. My wife complains about all of the work. She complains and complains, but never actually does any work. So my sister in law and I end up prepping and cooking everything, all the while she's complaining about the work. We're afraid of not having any food.
So the actual holiday day, unless we are putting the stuff in the ovens ourselves, it doesn't get done. I cannot ask her if it's time to put the turkey in, I have to tell her. Otherwise, she's just not in a rush. At the end of it all, she still complains about how difficult all of the work was.
So I don't know if this is an issue I have, or if it is a symptom of an issue she may have. Am I just impatient? Sometimes, the oven will be preheating for 4 hours. I'll ask her if I should turn it off and she says, no I'm preheating it.
So is this a typical issue? I don't know how to approach the subject as she always thinks I'm criticizing her. It's hard to Google "Is there anything wrong with doing everything very slowly?"
Put the internet to work for you.
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