Long story short, Im 25 and split up with my girlfriend two months ago. We spent a year together, and on paper were completely different, different drives, dreams, passions, personalities, but despite this, I enjoyed my time with her, loved her and still do. It broke my heart to seperate and I've been trying very hard not to slip into depression and avoid medication but so far have just about managed.
Before I met her, I was a much more serious kind of person. I took most things seriously, found it hard to relax and chill and have light hearted fun, was more socially anxious/awkward. After a year with her, I completely changed. I became spontaneous, more confident than I percieved almost anyone else to be, I felt completely alive and myself and life became more light hearted and fun. Now after splitting up, I feel I've lost all that confidence again. I recall a time at the gym when I was with her and my confidence was high... without thinking I walked up to a group of guys and made friends immediately, had fun, laughed, took myself lightly etc. It made me so happy. Yesterday, the same group were there, but I felt more than 50% more awkward, shy etc. I couldn't be spontaneous and happy like I used to be. I was overthinking again, self concious etc. Will I become the confident completely spontaneous guy I was when I was with her? I'm going to start a degree in sep tember and will almost be 26 and if I could regain that spontanaeity before I start I'd be so happy. I'm scared I won't gain that back again.
Two months have gone by with almost no contact with her at all, and I still dream about her and miss her. I woke up this morning close to tears but I guess thats expected and will be that way for a while still. Anyway, I play guitar, and last year I recorded her favourite song for her on acoustic... but I never gave her the song. I don't know what to do, I put a lot of effort into making it and feel it's just hanging in limbo if I dont give her it, but at the same time, I know she will contact me if I do, and hearing from her will upset me... but maybe that could be the last 'upset' and it might help me stop feeling theres something I have to do?
Should I give her the CD or not? If I don't, Im scared it'l feel like theres something regarding her that is lingering on that I can't let go of, but if I do I'm scared of hearing from her!
Before I met her, I was a much more serious kind of person. I took most things seriously, found it hard to relax and chill and have light hearted fun, was more socially anxious/awkward. After a year with her, I completely changed. I became spontaneous, more confident than I percieved almost anyone else to be, I felt completely alive and myself and life became more light hearted and fun. Now after splitting up, I feel I've lost all that confidence again. I recall a time at the gym when I was with her and my confidence was high... without thinking I walked up to a group of guys and made friends immediately, had fun, laughed, took myself lightly etc. It made me so happy. Yesterday, the same group were there, but I felt more than 50% more awkward, shy etc. I couldn't be spontaneous and happy like I used to be. I was overthinking again, self concious etc. Will I become the confident completely spontaneous guy I was when I was with her? I'm going to start a degree in sep tember and will almost be 26 and if I could regain that spontanaeity before I start I'd be so happy. I'm scared I won't gain that back again.
Two months have gone by with almost no contact with her at all, and I still dream about her and miss her. I woke up this morning close to tears but I guess thats expected and will be that way for a while still. Anyway, I play guitar, and last year I recorded her favourite song for her on acoustic... but I never gave her the song. I don't know what to do, I put a lot of effort into making it and feel it's just hanging in limbo if I dont give her it, but at the same time, I know she will contact me if I do, and hearing from her will upset me... but maybe that could be the last 'upset' and it might help me stop feeling theres something I have to do?
Should I give her the CD or not? If I don't, Im scared it'l feel like theres something regarding her that is lingering on that I can't let go of, but if I do I'm scared of hearing from her!
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