Hi there...
Most people have been made aware of my husband's anger/temper.
I thought I'd let you know I finally had the courage to address it.
Our child was crying in the middle of the night for food.
I gave him some milk at 4:30 am...
I never got back to sleep.
My husband confronted me this morning, while I was getting ready for work.
He said, "I know you gave our son milk in the middle of the night..not sure it's a good idea."
I said, "Hm...."
As I put my eyemake up on...
He said, "What? Is that IT??? you don't have anything MORE to say!!!" (In a nasty way)
I said, "I'm thinking it through...."
He said, "WHAT??? WHAT'S THERE TO THINK THROUGH??? YOU'RE HIS MOTHER...YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT THIS TRHOUGH!!"
I said now wasn't a good time to discuss..I'm very tired.
He said, "Oh..so NOW you're just being DISMISSIVE OF ME" (and he raised his voice).
WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO DISCUSS THEN???
I told him it wasn't my intent to be dismissive..He disagreed.
I said, "It's not your place to argue my intentions.."
Then I suggested counseling.
He said I needed it to better confront situations....I told him it was the nasty way in which he was speaking to me that's the issue and that I AM ALL FOR ME GETTING COUNSELING, ESPECIALLY TO DEAL WITH MY ANXIETY AROUND HIM.
Then I said, "I also want YOU (him) to get counseling for your temper. I never saw this side of you until we had our child.....and the temper is affecting our marriage. I want you to go to our primary care and get a referral for anger management."
He said, "SO I'm not entitled to be angry?"
I said, "it's the way you express it........and channel it....and this was so unnecessary."
He then went into drama about his fears of me being alone with our son in the summer b/c he thinks our son will drown in our pool under my watch (I'm a swim instructor, life guard and our son is now in swimming lessons...won't be happening)..
I walked away.
Then, 15 minutes later, I came back and said, "I'm sorry if I came across as "dismissive." It wasn't my intention."
He said, "I'm sorry I got angry over this."
That's it for now.
If he brings it up, I won't hesitate to bring up counseling again.....for him and for us.........and will tell him I'm getting it too...
Also, I'm going to sleep downstairs tonite so he can be alone with our son if he cries out and HE can handle the situation. I'm exhausted.
I'm laying the groundwork people....as a LAWYER would say....please give me SOME credit here...I'm doing everything in my power to rectify this until I actually THROW in the towel.
Most people have been made aware of my husband's anger/temper.
I thought I'd let you know I finally had the courage to address it.
Our child was crying in the middle of the night for food.
I gave him some milk at 4:30 am...
I never got back to sleep.
My husband confronted me this morning, while I was getting ready for work.
He said, "I know you gave our son milk in the middle of the night..not sure it's a good idea."
I said, "Hm...."
As I put my eyemake up on...
He said, "What? Is that IT??? you don't have anything MORE to say!!!" (In a nasty way)
I said, "I'm thinking it through...."
He said, "WHAT??? WHAT'S THERE TO THINK THROUGH??? YOU'RE HIS MOTHER...YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT THIS TRHOUGH!!"
I said now wasn't a good time to discuss..I'm very tired.
He said, "Oh..so NOW you're just being DISMISSIVE OF ME" (and he raised his voice).
WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO DISCUSS THEN???
I told him it wasn't my intent to be dismissive..He disagreed.
I said, "It's not your place to argue my intentions.."
Then I suggested counseling.
He said I needed it to better confront situations....I told him it was the nasty way in which he was speaking to me that's the issue and that I AM ALL FOR ME GETTING COUNSELING, ESPECIALLY TO DEAL WITH MY ANXIETY AROUND HIM.
Then I said, "I also want YOU (him) to get counseling for your temper. I never saw this side of you until we had our child.....and the temper is affecting our marriage. I want you to go to our primary care and get a referral for anger management."
He said, "SO I'm not entitled to be angry?"
I said, "it's the way you express it........and channel it....and this was so unnecessary."
He then went into drama about his fears of me being alone with our son in the summer b/c he thinks our son will drown in our pool under my watch (I'm a swim instructor, life guard and our son is now in swimming lessons...won't be happening)..
I walked away.
Then, 15 minutes later, I came back and said, "I'm sorry if I came across as "dismissive." It wasn't my intention."
He said, "I'm sorry I got angry over this."
That's it for now.
If he brings it up, I won't hesitate to bring up counseling again.....for him and for us.........and will tell him I'm getting it too...
Also, I'm going to sleep downstairs tonite so he can be alone with our son if he cries out and HE can handle the situation. I'm exhausted.
I'm laying the groundwork people....as a LAWYER would say....please give me SOME credit here...I'm doing everything in my power to rectify this until I actually THROW in the towel.
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